Friday, November 1, 2013

ENDER'S GAME

   Well, I'm put in a bit of a unique position here, where I don't know any of the information about the movie that wasn't known a full year before it came out. How are the trailers? Awesome?  The closest thing I've got to movie posters is book covers. Man I am so jealous of you future guys who get to check out the website and everything. My poster is this book cover, which looks to be designed by the same guys who did the cover for Eoin Colfer's HG2G book And Another Thing, but I can't confirm that. It comes with a tagline and everything.

"At Battle School, Fighting is Compulsory." I know that's kind of corny, but only if you read it in an American accent; keep in mind this is an English edition of the book. Read it now. Yeah. I know, right?
   Anyway! You probably want to know what I think. Well, here you go:

THE GOOD:
  1. The twist ending. The final battle.
  2. The very concept of the Battle Room seems custom-designed for cinema.

THE BAD:
  1. The actual size of the Battle Room. In some points in the book, it works better as a vast space, and in some places, it works better as a dim enclosed area. You could get away with vagaries in a written medium, in a visual medium not so much.
  2. Let's face it: kid-on-kid violence.
  3. And nudity.

THE UGLY:

  1. To Locke and Demosthenes or not to Locke and Demosthenes? This is very important stuff in the Shadow saga, which we're assuming for the sake of this exercise that they're making. It can't seem like it's coming out of nowhere. I think that what will/should happen is the subject is brought up when Graff is talking to Ender and reintroducing him to his sister, saying that his siblings have been very busy back on earth and that a certain political pundit would very much like to meet him...
  2. The epilogue after that, for obvious reasons.


Thursday, October 31, 2013

STOMATAPODA


   The ground was covered in water. Gerald Hamilton couldn't tell how much, but based off of how it sloshed against the top of the bottom shelf of the bookcase, he would estimate about a foot.

   Which was bad. Very bad.

   Stomatapods, or Mantis Shrimp, are neither shrimp nor mantids. They derive their name from their eerie resemblance to both a shrimp and a mantis. Gerald thought they looked like evil lobsters with mantis claws. The ancient Assyrians called them sea locusts. They usually grow up to a foot long, but one species, odontodactylus Scyllarus, has been known to grow up to 15 inches in the nutritious muck from the runoffs into the Ala Wai canal of Hawai’i.

   Gerald didn't know if this was the species he was facing. He did know one thing, though: these were bigger than 15 inches. Much bigger.

   Alright, he knew two things: that the mantis shrimp that had come in with the flooding were bigger than fifteen inches, and that the only way out of the house from here was through the den. The den was lower than the rest of the house, surrounded on all sides by steps: the water level was much deeper there.

   Gerald cursed himself silently and leaped to a nearby chair. He proceeded to island hop from object to object until he stood, on the wet bar, looking into the den. A few sofa backs and the top of the television peeked up at him through the murky water.

   They weren't the only things peeking up at him.

   The mantis shrimp’s eyes are the most complex in the animal kingdom. Their visual spectrum is far larger than a human’s, and they possess vision so sharp that scientists are currently using them as a model for next, next-generation high definition technology. Both of their compound eyes have trinocular vision, and their mobile eye stalks make it so that they are able to see independent of one another. Gerald could feel thousands of compound eyes fix on him.

   There was a brief moment of absolute silence, before they charged at him all at once. He swung from the bar around the door frame, knocking drinks over and causing them to shatter against the table and go splashing into the frothing water. He swung onto the top of a cabinet and jumped from there onto the narrow spine of the back of a sofa. He realized he was stuck going this way, and had to think quickly. There was a bookshelf within jumping distance of the cabinet. He would use that. He jumped back to the cabinet, but hit the wall so hard that it knocked the bookshelf down, splashing tremendously. The mantis shrimp turned to him.

   From what he could see of their claws, he could deduce that these were smasher-type stomatapods. This meant that they could move their claws quickly, smashing into prey. In some instances the claws accelerate faster than a bullet.

   The mantis shrimp began pummeling the cabinet at faster than fifty miles per hour.

   The movement of the claws is actually so fast that it causes the tiny little bubbles underwater to implode in a burst of light, in an effect known as sonoluminescense. It is not known exactly how sonoluminescence happens; some say it is actually a form of cold fusion, while others hold that it is caused by quantum tunneling. Either way, sonoluminescence is a good thing for stomatapods, because the shock wave is enough to stun or even kill prey even if the attack misses.

   Gerald could see sparks of blue light burst out underwater as the cabinet was being pounded to smithereens. They were beautiful.

   They would probably be the last thing he would ever see.

   Light is not the only thing released by sonoluminescence. It also releases heat. Thousands of kelvins worth of heat.

   The combustion triangle is a model used to explain how fires are started. At one end of the triangle is heat. At another is an oxidizing agent, usually air. The other end is fuel. In this instance, the fuel was provided by the alcohol that was spilled from the wet bar as Gerald swung from it.

   The world caught on fire.

   There was a shrieking sound as dozens of crustaceans were boiled alive. In the end, Gerald received several third degree burns on his arms, legs and face, but at least he came out with his life.


Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Spooky Story 2013

   Based on actual science. I was doing a short story in the same vein as far as it-was-also-a-horror-story goes, about a haunted house, and I said that reality just kind of warped around the house in the same way that very large objects can warp the direction of light using their gravity, and, I don't know, man, I just got kind of distracted in my research. You know how Wikipedia gets. One thing led to another, and I discovered the real-life science behind what the real-life (if mutated and fictionalized) creatures do in tomorrow's horror story. Brace yourself. It's going to be a Michael Crichton of a ride.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Ender's Game: The Musical?

   More Hatrack Forum stuff. Some of these threads are really good; hold on:

   Here the loyal posters of the Hatrack forums discuss possibilities of an Ender's Game musical.

The main thread is here

Topic: Ender's Game - The Musical ://www.hatrack.com/cgi-bin/ubbmain/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=next_topic;f=1;t=004700;go=newer

and the topic is discussed tangentially here:

Topic: Inconsistent Death http://www.hatrack.com/ubb/main/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=005157

With this thread imagining the Ender's Game cast as funny animals, and the subject comes up a bit:

If Enders Game Were a Disney Cartoon://www.hatrack.com/ubb/main/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=005070


Monday, October 28, 2013

Hatrack River Forums

   There's a lot of talk over how Val and Peter build up their power though the nets. Like here: https://xkcd.com/635/. Even if you were a child prodigy specially bred and raised for intelligence, the internet would still crush you. I did a lot of the research for these posts on Orson Scott Card's Hatrack River forums. If all the forums in the world were as decorous and intelligent as the Hatrack River Forums, we'd be in no shortage of excellence, and their system would work. It's actually one of the most thoughtful debate forums on the internet. Occasionally Uncle Orson himself will even descend, Godlike, from the heavens, to clarify whatever points they're debating about him. It is possible for there to be prudence on the internet. And maybe one day the entire thing will be so, just like in Ender's Game. Who knows, maybe needing a citizen's access pass to get on the nets would spur such change.

   Of course, though, it's Orson Scott Card, who is not without his share of enemies. Those that try to spur a reaction, though, tend to get shot down in some rather deferential flames. Occasionally there are they who post just to take up a personal vendetta against OSC's politics, these trolls can be summed up quite nicely (and hilariously) in this thread, here:
http://www.hatrack.com/ubb/main/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=003063

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Thespis Strip Dated Sunday, October 25, 2009

Click to embiggen.

TRANSCRIPT:
Marvin: Even noticed how Wikipedia is some sort of hyperreality?
You know, a super-concentrated representation of something juxtaposed into an unnatural situation.
For example: a garden. Concentrated essence of nature forced into a boxy shape.
Nature as hyperreality.
So, Wikipedia as hyperreality. If the free, user-generated article about something- say, The Discworld series by Terry Pratchett- is funny, you can more or less be certain that the Discworld series itself is funny.
And if the article is fascinating,
Take, for example, the one about the Antikythera mechanism, or the Voynich manuscripts...
You can bet your life that the genuine artifact is fascinating.
or vandalised. 

NOTES:
   Absolutely heartbreaking punchline, I know. I was just running out of room with no punchline to end the strip, saw an exit, and took it on out.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

   Last year's ward Halloween party, one year ago today, with my father dressed up as the men's bathroom (he was cheap for costumes I guess,) he wore a toilet seat and a t-shirt with the men's symbol on it (for signs, like bathroom signs and crosswalks and things- men are represented as people, and women are represented as people with dresses. There's a website out there that dissects why exactly we sequester women from men and men from women with their own separate facilities, but I forget what its name is and I'm kind of getting away from the point anyway.)

   I had helped him haul in some stuff for the party, like Halloween carnival games, for beanbag tosses and othersuch stuff, which we loaded into the back of the truck. As the men's bathroom, on the way over there, with part of his costume being an old toilet lid he had never gotten around to using as a hall pass, he was talking about the difference between the toilet seat and the toilet lid. They had always been indistinguishable, but then came an epiphany: there is a difference between the toilet seat and the toilet lid. The lid is a lid, and the seat is a seat.

   The kicker: Women want you to put the seat down, not the lid. A major revelation. One aspect of the mystery of the opposite sex revealed. Next up: why they go to the bathroom in clusters, which is true and not a myth, because I've personally observed such behavior firsthand at least twice in my life (though, no, wait, that first time, what she actually said was "let's all be together" instead of, well...)

Friday, October 25, 2013

SPEAKER FOR THE DEAD

   The first sequel. Maybe they'd make this one before Ender's Shadow, maybe they'd make it after. I can see a parallel movie being released right after if this movie's successful, but a distant sequel...? The obvious problem here (besides a good voice actress for Jane) would be the design of the piggies. Oh, uh, and how to time-shift Asa. Just, like, digitally, makeup, or just get a new actor, or have him actually be that old when they do come out with this thing?

THE GOOD:
  1. Olhado's metal eyes, already highly visual imagery in the book, would be strongly iconic when brought to a visual medium.
  2. Juicy Novinha psychology, when every man she's ever loved died and she thinks it's her fault because the piggies killed them and the secret why is in her research.
  3. The ensemble cast of the Ribeira family has already strongly drawn characters, so they don't all get muddled like, say, the dwarfs in The Hobbit (how'd they handle that, by the way? Alright?)
  4. Jane.

THE BAD:

  1. Oh, you know, nothing. Just, uh, how it's got almost nothing to do with Ender's Game, so a true adaptation, even with such a beloved property, would be almost impossible.
  2. I can actually see this getting made into a movie, though. It'd be actually kind of claustrophobic, on-screen, with the narrow streets between the buildings and trees everywhere surrounding. Not like the hallways of Battle School, which you would expect to be more so, but that would be a sound stage and this would be on location, with completely different camera techniques used. It's a very loamy future, too, which is kind of weird.
  3. The piggies are very fond of evisceration, and it's kind of tough to get away with that especially seeing as how they're the good guys.


THE UGLY:
  1. How to depict of Jane-minus-Jane. When Jane cut off from contact with Ender, and has no solid contact or form. This would have to be done abstractly. There's emotion there, but symbolism of this sort would be the only way to show it. Maybe have some sort of "quirky" depiction of Jane earlier on that isn't in itself 100% in alignment with the book's depiction (screens, maybe?), but would make sense during the scenes of her being cut off when you consider its necessity. Maybe echo some designs from the Giant's Drink-- Jane's birth connected to Ender would give us access to depicting her early development existing entirely in the ansible network, and so they could fall back on that.
  2. The piggies themselves. The design, that is, doubtless they've got technology enough to render them convincingly.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Television Autism: Tommy Westphallutin'

   If upwards of 80% of television takes place inside the snow globe and imagination of an autistic boy (now, like, autistic man, man) then how come television often get autism so wrong? Is it because he himself does not understand it? That seems the likeliest explanation.

   You'd figure he'd learn a little more over time and changes in his understanding would reflect in the shows, but, nope, there's only more room for more misunderstanding there as the issue creeps its way into the public consciousness in real life. Dang.

Friday, October 18, 2013

XENOCIDE

   Oh, Randall... http://xkcd.com/304/

   No, but Xenocide really used to be my favorite too. It definitely had to do with the Chinese culture of Path. Han Qing-jao is a "godspoken," a genius-level caste to whom the gods allegedly manifest their will, through the form of rituals. Spoiler spoiler spoiler, it turns out it's just a plot by the Starways Congress to have a hyperintelligent task force they keep in line through debilitating OCD. Qing-jao is tasked with figuring out how all outside communication was cut off from a fleet of starships heading to destroy the planet Lusitania, which houses a deadly virus. She deduces the cutoff was caused by something of a virus itself: a sentient ghost in the machine whom we know to be Jane.


THE GOOD:
  1. Path would give Xenocide a unique flavor of all the films. I'm thinking even sepia for these sequences. At least the prologhue, when Han Qing-jao's mother dies. Others are out in space, the feel of this one could be more grounded.
  2. The return of Valentine. 
  3. The scene where the death of Quim causes Grego to inspire an angry mob. Heartbreaking.
  4. The death of Planter, sacrificing himself to prove his species sentient without the virus they carried, to prove that replacing their virus with a synthetic wouldn't render them mere animals again.

THE BAD:

  1. Miro's slurred, slow speech wouldn't be very good on film. Oh, I know, they could just have Christopher Nolan direct this one!
  2. After revisiting Ender years later at the start of Speaker for the Dead, he's 30 years older again this time around!
  3. Problems with Outside, which we'll get to soon.
  4. Younger Val and Peter's actors will have aged by now.


THE UGLY:

  1. There's a chapter there, just a long conversation about old seemingly disproven science that turns out to be correct. It's quite talky, but it's essential to the entire story. This is a great but necessary leap, as after that Jane is allowed to take people into Outspace.
  2. Speaking of, the depiction of Outspace itself. It exists outside of space and time, so if you beam your ship into it, your ship takes up the entire universe. They're bound to run out of camera angles eventually, especially considering ships designed for Outspace travel are small and cramped.


Sunday, October 13, 2013

Thespis Strip Dated Sunday, October 11, 2009

Click to embiggen.
TRANSCRIPT:
Collin, thinking: The speech bubble is a fairly old invention, seen in ancient Olmec- or was it Mayan- drawings.
In Medieval times, speech was represented by scrolls coming from the speaker's mouth.
But the history of the thought bubble is much more difficult to trace. While the speech balloon has been in its present form since the 18th century, the origins of 'the cloud" are much less defined.
But I'm wondering what these things are made out of.
Collin: Marvin, I really need you for an experiment, 'k?
Think something. Think anything.
Marvin: ...
Marvin, thinking: Oh, this is ridiculous.
Collin: Good. Now I want you to, quite literally...
Marvin, thinking: Oh, this is ridiculous.
Collin: Hold that thought.
Marvin, thinking: Oh, this is ridiculous.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

CHILDREN OF THE MIND, A Book Report I Wrote Once So Why Not

Children of the Mind opens on the Chinese planet Path, where a mysterious, somewhat angry young fellow calling himself Peter Wiggin steps out of a spaceship that seemed to have materialized out of thin air and whisks a girl named Si Wang-Mu away. He explains to her that he isn't the real Peter Wiggin -who was the ruler of Earth three thousand years ago- but rather a child straight out of the mind of the real Peter Wiggin's younger brother.

For thousands of years people have had to travel from planet to planet at the light speed limit. Relativity caused them to age less than those who hadn't gone at such a high speed, but this still meant that a voyage from planet to planet essentially cut one off from friends and family who didn't go on the trip, causing them to be either very old or dead when one arrived at the planet to which they were traveling. This is how Peter’s brother from thousands of years ago had lived so long, as to now create Peter II.

For the newly-discovered way to abolish the light-speed law, which is how Peter arrived at Path, had its own side-affect. This method required going outside of the physical universe itself, where time and space did not exist, to jump back at any point else in the universe. The lack of laws of physics made any human imagining come true. Ender Wiggin had subconsciously imagined younger versions of his siblings from thousands of years ago, and they had sprung full form from his head, his own children of the mind.

Peter further explains that he needed Si Wang-Mu, who, being from the planet Path, where children were raised to be especially brilliant, to help him. The International Fleet was sending ships to destroy the planet Lusitania, which allegedly housed a deadly virus known as the Descolada (Portuguese for ungluing) that “unglued,” as it were, the very foundations of DNA itself, causing horrible mutations and painful death. In reality, the problem of the Descolada had been solved by imagining an antidote for it in Outspace,  but there was no way for the International Fleet to know this because Lusitania wasn’t on the friendliest terms with them because of the way it handled the relations with its native life.  Peter needed Wang-Mu to help him stop the destruction of an entire planet.

They arrive instantly at the planet Kamikaze, whose Kyoto-spirit philosophers heavily influence the I.F.’s  policies. Peter needs Wang-Mu’s knowledge of the careful balance of the Oriental concepts of honor and dishonor into tricking one of the philosophers into revealing from where he gets his influences. Over an episode of power-play which Peter does not understand at all, he slips up, revealing himself to be a follower of the Ua Lava  philosophy of the planet Pacifica. Or, at least, implies it.

The final connection from him to the philosophy is made by the hyper intelligent Jane, who controls faster-than-light travel, and whose communication jewel Peter wears in his ear. Jane is much more than a computer program: she is actually a soul, or Aìua, whose body is the computer network between worlds. But the I.F. is on to her, and is beginning to shut all of the linked computers down, world by world. She is losing processing power, which she needs to hold the information of whatever she is sending to Outspace together. Faster-than-light travel will soon be ended, and without this, Lusitania is doomed to be destroyed.

So it is hurriedly that she sends Peter and Wang-Mu to Pacifica, and also hurriedly that she sends Ender’s other mind-child, Valentine, and Ender’s adopted son, Miro, to scout for planets to which the Lusitanians could escape before their planet is destroyed, even though all the hurrying is bad for Ender’s Aìua. Having one’s soul split into three- one part for yourself, and one for each of your two mind-children- strains it.  On the planet Lusitania, Ender lapses into a coma.

Valentine and Miro realize that there are enough planets to which the Lusitanians can flee, and realize that that isn’t their real assignment: they are searching for the planet of the alien species that created the Descolada.

On the planet Pacifica, Peter curls up into a ball in the sand as the jewel in his ear goes dead, and Jane dies. Orbiting around a sinister planet, with limited air supply and hostile aliens surrounding, Valentine, Miro, and other scientists are trapped, with no way out…

And the I.F.’s ships will soon arrive at Lusitania…

I’m going to end the plot summary section there. I am supposed to give the reader an incentive to read the book, aren't I?

I say that this was an amazing book, full of vivid detail and memorable, realistic characters. And the plot I’m giving isn't even the half of the thoroughly amazing universe presented to us between the covers of that book. I’m completely skipping out of the complex interrelationships the characters share. I’m not even mentioning the real Valentine, or Ender’s wife, Novinha, or Quara, or any of the Piggies, or Grace Drinker, or the Hive Queen, or Plikt, or the Fathertrees, or… etc, etc.

And yet I could. Each of these characters stands out vividly in my mind. I could tell you about Novinha’s tendency to blame herself for anyone’s death, even if she had nothing to do with it. I could tell you how spiteful and arrogant Quara is, or the Hive Queen’s lack of fear of death, or the way Grace Drinker’s husband makes jokes when he is trying to keep himself from going crazy and killing someone.

I could tell you about how much it hurt Miro to say mean things to Valentine when the situation forced him into it, or Peter’s evolution as a character, from being just the embodiment of a bad childhood memory Ender had of him to the young man who saved an entire planet by averting the Fleet’s ships.

In fact, I think that character is what moves the entire plot. Sure, there’s a little action, a little romance, a little humor, and a lot of suspense, but without characters those things couldn’t be there.
Although this book is actually forth and last in the Ender’s Quartet series, which began with science fiction classic Ender’s Game, I think that Card is a deft enough characterizer and plotter to make the complex plot and relationship issues understandable, making it possible to jump right into the book.

It’s still somewhat bittersweet to leave Ender’s universe behind, though. Luckily there’s also the Shadow Quartet, which chronicles the wars and political power struggle before the original, real Peter Wiggin came to power as ruler of the Hegemony of Earth. But those books have a much different feel than these ones. And then there’s always Ender’s Game itself, which is infinitely reread-able.
If you enjoy epic tales, philosophy, science, science fiction, good characterization, Portuguese culture, Japanese culture, Chinese culture, Icelandic culture, and metaphysics, then this book would be bizarrely, creepily suited for you.

If you enjoy a darn good yarn, then this book is good for that too.

Friday, October 11, 2013

CHILDREN OF THE MIND

   Don't have much of a plot review for you this time, because I figure I could just show you THE BOOK REPORT I DID ON IT. Just read that post, coming out tomorrow.

THE GOOD:
  1. The suspense of Starways Congress shutting down the ansible network to kill Jane.
  2. Two words: Bobby. Lands. 
  3. Peter and Wang-mu doing freaking awesome crap on Divine Wind. 
  4. Valentine and Val.
  5. The exploration of the angst of Ender's imagines (yes, that's seriously what they're called- imagines. Ih-may-gin-ese. The world is awesome) would make some awesome cinema.

THE BAD:
  1. Pretty much all of it's that. Imagines angsting. It works out fine in book form, but you'd probably need a fine director to bring that to the screen. Like Wes Anderson.
  2. The stuff with the souls bouncing around in space, while fine on the page, is downright trippy. Jane causing a mothertree to bear hyperfast-growing fruit? That's pretty, but... what?
  3. It's said Orson Scott Card just based this philotic science off of Mormon doctrine, so the entire thing could be seen as propaganda. The stuff with Ua Lava I can see that a little, but I don't remember anything in Sunday School Class where it talked about twining to the center of your planet through vibrations of love. Must have missed that part.

THE UGLY:
  1. The subterfuge scene where Si Wang-mu and Aimaina Hikari have the humility contest, each trying to out-humble the other to show themselves as being the more respectful, would be the single coolest scene in the film if done right (even cooler than the bits with Admiral Lands.) It would also be the most difficult if not impossible to translate to screen.
  2. More grounded scenes like that, balanced against the philotic souls-bouncing-around-in-space scenes.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Flaming Building

   You, your child, your spouse, and your mother are trapped in a flaming apartment building. There's only time to save one of them, and... sigh. What... Why do... I mean, what's up with that? Never mind.

   And, by the way the "correct" answer is your mother, because you can always get remarried and pop out more babies, but you will only ever have one mom. See? It's ever worse. Thanks for asking.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Math Tools for Planet Worldbuilding

   Hey, look, it's Hugo-nominated, Nebular-winning sf/f author Eric Jame Stone's Gravitator gravity calculator for astronomical bodies! Just, you know, enter in the radius and relative density for the object you wish to calculate, and it spews forth the relative gravity and acceleration due to gravity! It's useful for, well, exactly that kind of thing. I guess. Want to know the gravity of a diamond the size of the earth, for, say, some kind of story in which your characters find a diamond the size of the earth? Easy! It's .64 Earth normal gravity. So, uh, now you know.

http://www.ericjamesstone.com/blog/home/gravity-calculator-for-astronomical-bodies-based-on-radius-and-density/

   And there's this tool I found, "Density of the Terrestrial Planets," which is sort of an educational exercise where you have to adjust the ratio of rock to iron core for the Earth, Mars, Mercury, Venus, and the Moon. It's useful for calculating the relative density of a planet based on its core composition.

http://www.mesacc.edu/~kev2077220/flash/planet-density.html

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Tom Cruise Day '13

   Tom Cruise day again! R0x0rs! This year's Tom Cruise Day comes with a movie recommendation, which I was really going to do the first time but got held up by the news of Jack Reacher. (How was that, by the way? Any good? Are they planning any sequels yet?)

   Knight and Day. It's a rom com, really, at its heart. Except the comedy here comes from playing with some of the more absurd tropes of the spy thriller genre, instead of wherever the heck the comedy is supposed to come from in normal rom-coms. The humor is really mature (no, not that kind of mature.) I mean, mature, like, it's... like a good cheese, or something. Tom is really free to crazy it up, which is one of the things that he does best. Some terrific action. Which would make it a great date film or something. Something in it for everyone.


   And I found the entire thing with way-off, Urdu-dubbed audio on YouTube! Oh, internet. Is there anything you can't do?

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Thespis Strip Dated Sunday, October 4, 2009

Click to embiggen.

TRANSCRIPT:
(Editor's Note: The Author wasn't able to meet the deadlines for this week's strip, so we have decided to offer you this cobble of all our favorite Thespis moments!)
(We hope it represents the Nietzschean subtext of the the strip without delving into the über-ipissimosity of the conceptual apparatus columbarium. In
Collin: fact, the "boy" in the name El Niño refers to baby Jesus, as the phenomenon was first reported around Christmastime by Peruvian fishermen in the late 1800s.
Marvin: Christmas Jones.
Collin: !
Marvin: It's...
Oohh, Never Mind!
Collin: I LIKE COOKIES!
Marvin, thinking: Yep, I'm definitely crazy.
Collin: Yo!
That's messed up.
Editor's Note: (On second thought, Nietzsche is over-rated.)

NOTES:
   I've changed my mind about Nietzsche since I wrote this, by the way. He was actually a pretty cool dude. I also would have used some different psychobabble had I wrote this strip nowadays. Well, had I wrote this strip nowadays, I wouldn't have even written it, as I realized that I had a deadline to do a strip and was in no position to draw and scan a new one, so I had to whip up a new one entirely using old strips and Paint. Later on I wouldn't care about missing deadlines so much. Keep an eye on those. They will be missed.

Friday, October 4, 2013

ENDER'S SHADOW

   We see the events of Ender's Game from the perspective of Bean. So brilliant, yet so simple.

THE GOOD:

  1. The closest to Ender's Game in terms of tone, and a lot of other things. The other books aren't very like Ender's Game at all.
  2. A sweet mystery going on meanwhile, back on earth.


THE BAD:

  1. By the time they get about making this, Aramis is going to be... not little. Special effects, I know. And his rapid development actually becomes a plot point in the rest of the books. But this takes place the same time the first one did.
  2. There's another one, which is actually more problematic than bad, so I'm putting it in "ugly."


THE UGLY:

  1. How to make this seem different enough from Ender's Game to make it not seem like blind repetition? It does take place at the same time in much the same location, using the same scenes but from a different perspective.
  2. The twist. It's no longer a twist. The problem in this lies on what they decide to do with the film of Ender's Game, and is not in itself problematic.


Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Patheticisms pt II: Unoriginality is A-okay!

   I'm not sure how I feel about that sort of pseudo-deepness you see a lot of in forums and blogs and, liner notes for webcomics, and these kinds of blogs. (Amateur blogs, of which, this is, you know, one, so I'll try not to get self indulgent/high and mighty, making out like I don't do that at times.) I'd been going to put "ie, strongly dislike" as a parenthetic after "not sure how I feel about," but I'll just let it stand for itself; I'm not sure how I feel about it. Pseudo deepness. It sounds pretty, as long as you have your brain switched off. If not... It's painful. Sort of, aww, cute, look, it's trying to form a coherent thought. It thinks it's people. With any form of expression, you have some who can navigate better than others, of course- some people, as well, aren't good at expression at all, so I give them a kudos or two for trying (kudos is singular! I know, isn't that surprising?) Even if you're super eloquent, though, and especially if you're not, well, you don't need to be. Ninety-nine percent of the stuff in the world has already been commented on after some fashion or another.

   That's why you don't always share your own beliefs and opinions, and don't always need to. You go with other peoples'. It would be helpful if you also agreed with them, of course, but even if you don't level 100% with them (and, once again, especially if you don't) you can also add your own commentary, advance the dialogue to your own degree of contribution (and even advance the dialogue by "contributing" something that someone else has already written.) It helps to source carefully and everything, too, looks more impressive if you admit that that sizzling slice of bacon ain't yours.

   How can deference make you look good? The better question is, why does it- and I've got a few reasons I came up with:

  1. It proves you know things about the scientific and/or literary greats, even enough to quote them and/or reflect an understanding of their views,
  2. It's less painful-- if not for you than certainly your audience; instead of having to come up with your own stuff and how to phrase it, just lift from someone else (once again, making sure to cite properly!) Why? because...
  3. They're (ostensibly) professionals, which means that they've had time to do that thinking while using a lot of different support and have managed to form a superior opinion. You haven't had that time, and also enjoy being lazy.
  4. Deference shows humility.

   Just cop someone else's that you know might be good, instead of go with your own stuff you suspect might be bad! Said the one who wrote this.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Patheticisms pt I

   I can't tell which is more pathetic... Well, not "pathetic," because that coveys too much pejorativism which isn't my intent at all, but, but... Pathé. That's the name of that, what, film company or something, right? (I think they distributed Chicken Run.) Whatever. It's a good word. Pathé. Which is more pathé. This is a written medium, so I realize that I've got time to look up the proper word and come back and continue this whenever and you wouldn't even notice or mind, but, I kind of like that.

   So. I cannot tell which is more pathé: blogs or forums. Speaking of electronic media here (and kind of having a breakdown for being a blogger) but it doesn't have to be; doesn't matter the medium. "Forum" is a good word no matter the medium for what I'm trying to get at, but the other guy-- lone commentators, not per se speaking as part of a larger community, only reacting when it serves his interests, that kind of thing-- I'm not sure if there's an intrinsic word for the concept, but compared against "forum" I think you can catch my drift. Forums, there's a community; blogs, there's, that thing I just said. The internet is a "flat" medium, meaning here, one that most anyone can access, and with content that ostensibly can be accessed equally (net neutrality politics aside- we're focusing on the web as ideally "flat," here.) In such a flat medium, is it better to be anonymous or visible? Or is that at the heart of the idea of the internet or any other flat space, taking away the third parties, as with the direct distribution market?

   So it comes down to the old apparent dichotomy, depth versus breadth (I say "apparent" dichotomy because I'm not sure if it really is or not- I haven't seen anything contradicting the notion, but I'm not about to make such a broad sweep on that alone.) Depth versus breadth- my own stance is, hey guys balance is nice, which seems to do me fine so far.

   A forum, you get to see this community in action, and get to see different minds coalesce, argue, joke. Argue. Blogging, on the other hand, is more, focused. A core sample taken from a tree (or... something. That's a good metaphor, right?...) In a forum, to see one individual's viewpoint you have to dig more to see within a post the allusions to past posts a poster has made, right? They're just one of the voices there, versus on something more personal like a web log, where it's primarily about their voice, so it'd be more worth it to invest in such an expenditure. And easier. Even with microblogging.

   ...Especially with microblogging.

   Why pay attention to someone when it's about their voice? We're fascinated by celebrities, aren't we. You don't mind listening to a speaker if you think the speaker is in some way talented. It's good to see that these people have lives, you know? You feel happy for them. It's good to see that they're living, or still alive, at least. We get something directly out of it; it benefits us in some way.

   Forums and comments boards can be a fine fine thing, providing you're interested in the subject (and really, why would you be anywhere if you weren't?) Such a wide variety can be fascinating. It can also be full of flamewars and arguments that quickly make you lose hope in humanity. The worst a blogger can do is make you lose hope in that one blogger, unless you perceive them to be holding an opinion congruent with the views of wider humanity-- (people are scum, except when they're not.)

   Speaking more generally now, in the wider "blogosphere" it is once more about combined opinions, but some would find the amount of time it takes to get the gamut to be a bit excessive. Microblogging comes back in here- it's a really nice balance. Hey guys, we found a really nice balance.

   And I'm done here.

Monday, September 30, 2013

Sept 2013

   Somehow somewhere along the line I came under the impression that the milk powder plant they're building here in Fallon would be up this month, September 2013. I'm fairly certain that's accurate, but it could be the expanded Perazzo Brothers dairy barn scheduled for September, or it could be the powder plant scheduled for September of '14, or it could be both, or even both of those things, or even vice versa.

   Either way, if everything went according to plan, according to the schedule of which I have knowledge-- if everything went according to plan then we should have a brand spanking new milk powder plant. Right here in Fallon. Very exciting for the local dairy industry, gonna be a lot of expansion. Milk powder sometimes explodes (!), so I hope everything is safe, and since I *prescheduled this I hope that doesn't strike as being horribly ironic because that actually happened.

   That'd suck.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Thespis Strip Dated Sunday, September 27, 2009

Click to embiggen.
TRANSCRIPT:
Marvin: 'Sup.
A lot of you out there are probably wondering about Collin's seemingly uncharacteristic behavior in last week's strip.
Well, according to...
...some dude's...
...theory of characterization, any character is capable of performing any action at any time.
No matter How uncharacteristic.
All the author need do is provide significant motive, so as to not abandon...
SUSPENSION -->OF<-- DISBELIEF.
or whatever.
For example:
(Man this hurts.)

Saturday, September 28, 2013

A... Cheesy... Commercial?? Dang these are hard

   Holy crud. The presidential candidate running for office who ruins his chances by declining a cheese plate in that old "power of cheese" commercial? Gregory Itzin, looking exactly like a younger Charles Logan of 24. Look, right there, on the microphone in the preview frame! It even has a little "24!"


   Also, that's not how you pronounce "Gouda." But it's all right, because it's not even technically cheese, I don't think, and the ADA would know that, so I always figure they're being subtly ironic when they make jokes like that.

   That is all.

Friday, September 27, 2013

SHADOW OF THE HEGEMON

   A direct sequel to Ender's Shadow, it establishes a very heavy tone of military intrigue throughout the entire series.

THE GOOD:
  1. Petra smuggling out a message in the dragon- that scene alone would make the film worth it
  2. Petra tearing the psychologist to shreds.
  3. Bean talking to Theresa Wiggin about Ender.

THE BAD:

  1. Sister Carlotta's death takes place by necessity offscreen.
  2. The stuff in captivity. Not much goes on there.


THE UGLY:

  1. Virlomi is introduced here (she wasn't in any books previous) and she plays a pretty big part.
  2. Aramis Knight, who plays Bean, will have grown just perfectly by this time to fit the Anton's Key he's-a-giant bits. That's not what concerns me. It really depends on how far after the other movies they start this.


Thursday, September 26, 2013

Feline Behavior

   Got the cat up on the desk, turned the desk light on behind it, and it turned around to look at the light. It can later be seen examining it. Suggesting that in some sense animals have got some idea of the concept of light- instead of seeing the shadow in front of himself as a novelty, the cat deduces that the shadow is cast by the novelty of the light behind him. And it was definitely the lightbulb, instead of the sound of it clicking on, that caught the cat's attention. It might have been the heat of the bulb, but I doubt the bulb would get hot as quickly as the cat reacted to it...

   Still haven't eliminated the possibility that the cat heard the click of it turning on, turned around for that, and saw that the light itself was on. That's not what it looked like, but that's a possibility. Nor have I eliminated the possibility of, like, ultraviolet sight or other sensory forms that we humans don't have but animals do (infrasound?) Cat's refusing to cooperate right now for further experimentation, so, sure, it's not so far fetched to assume that the cat just sees that the lightbulb is on- it's actually kind of downright silly to say anything else.

   So, yes, the cat saw that the light was on. What does this say? That the cat understands what light is? That's how it would appear. Anything else? Nope, nothing else. Why, then, you may ask, is this so important?

   Well, if the animal understands that light comes from a source, this certainly changes (or sheds new light on- no pun intended, but that still feels icky) the cat's relationship with laser pointers.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Pets

   Watching a kitten playing with tassels, it occurred to me that the aloofness cats take from you might be their own special kind of draw. There's the obvious always-eager-to-please nature of dogs, but cats, eh... I'm just doin' my own thing. Tassels, man. Tassels.

   And then there's weasels, the third most popular pet, which- I don't know, whatever weasels do. Be cute, and only occasionally rabid? Makes sense to me.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

And Here It Is

   Um, here it is, my first post from my mission. First, and only, actually. I knew that if worst came to worst I could always do this and send out posts via email like I’m doing with this one, but Cailin said if it’s causing me that much of a hassle just drop it, and I realized that in this instance her laziness is actually a good influence on me so I can focus on my work better and all that.

   My mission gets out for me on not the 7th of December (which is two years from when I got out) but the 21st of November- or as early as the 19th, if I understand correctly (my understanding is, there’s a final luncheon on the second-to-last Wednesday of the month and you can just leave whenever you want after that?) So I could get out on my birthday, even. That’d be rad. (I want a PS4. And some books. And we’ll talk later.) 


   I’ll be back, I guess. Yes, there are still going to be posts between then; it’s just going to be kind of intermittent from now on. There are if I’m calculating correctly, 124 days from here till 2015 that there won’t be any posts on; out of about 1 ¼ years (I don’t have the energy to do the exact calculation right now), that’s only about a quarter of the posts (I don’t have the energy to do the exact calculation right now), which I’d say considering the circumstances is pretty good. That means, on average (I don’t have the energy to do the exact calculation right now), 3/4ths of the time there still will be posts, so keep checking back and stuff. I’ll be back, I promise; till then, don’t be surprised if there are gaps (which, again I promise, I’ll fill up from the future as though they never existed. Orwellianism is a go.)

   Though I didn't get all of my posts scheduled, scheduling was still important somehow. A few explanations as to why that is:

  1. There’s a parable/object lesson that I think fits- you fill up the Mason jar with big things, which allows smaller things to trickle down through. I filled up the schedule with the big stuff first (comics, mostly), and then I could work on the littler stuff.
  1. Idle hands- Scheduling so many posts, though I didn't get through with 100% of it, gave me something to do at a crucial time. There were so many non-Kosher ways I could have diddled around online right before my mission. I don’t have the energy to do the math here either. Suffice it to say, many, many ways.
  1. Learning to review and organize. I categorized posts into levels of necessity, what was worth sharing and what was best to hold off on until later, to be expanded. I do have more than the needed number of posts in my “drafts” folder, but I’d rather put out 75% of my 100% than 100% of my 75%. I hope that that’s a good thing. Anyway, I learned to put up only quality posts at the expense of getting everything done. That probably won’t cut it in the real world, but by showing pride in my work, I hope I’m also showing integrity. I don’t think I’d do it again, but maybe I would. Not sure.


   If I had known that it’s not exactly two years, maybe I would have been a little better in my schedulings. Maybe even, a little more inspired. But, ah, oh well. With the 18-20 fewer days that need the pre-posts, maybe those could have been crunched together? I can do that when I get back, as a future-post thing. The world is kind of depressing. (Not the dark, horrible stuff, mind you, but the blazingly awesome stuff.) I think I’ll withdraw from it for a while.


   But I will be back! Have my terrible fan arts improved at all over the course of the mission? What will my thoughts be on that My Little Pony “Equestria Girls” feature (I’ve seen the DVDs at Wal Mart, chill out)? And, some other third hypothetical question? I guess we’ll see!

Monday, September 23, 2013

A New Tack

   Yeah, I was right. There won't be enough time to do it all. All of the posts. So either I drop it and the posts will only pop up sporadically based on the ones I have already in the past managed to schedule for the future, or this continues being daily but not posted by me. They can still be composed by me, I mean, there's email I'm allowed to send, but, somebody else is going to have to do the actual physical posting.

   From where I'm standing, As I write this, I have 591 of the 730 posts needed posted, (597 discounting the ones set to publish after my return but I scheduled them beforehand anyway because that'd be easier,) and about 70 minutes left to post the rest. I suppose I could spend less than one minute per post through the little more 100 posts I need to get up, but...

   When offered a choice, you're going to pick quality every time.

   I continue to stall in posting this, seeing how close I can get, until the last few minutes. This time tomorrow, if you see a post here it'll be from on an e-mail my mission. Not all future posts, of course. But some of them.

   (It's not poor planning on my part; the internet chose a very bad time to shut itself down last night so I had to drop my plans, and I knew that I always had the option of composing posts via e-mail anyway, which was actually my original plan.)

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Thespis Strip Dated Sunday, September 20, 2009

Click to embiggen.
TRANSCRIPT:
Collin: Stinking Doug. Thinks he's so great just 'cos his mouth is made out of cheese.
Doesn't even specify what kind of cheese... Sure sign that he's lying if he doesn't do that.
Marvin: Hey Collin, I was just wondering if I could borrow-
Collin: HEY! EVERYBODY COME OVER TO MY PLACE FOR A WINE AND CRACKERS PARTY!!!
YAAAAAA!
Marvin: ...
You know, I could really say anything at this point and it would drive the point home.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Drawing Techniques: It's Okay to Trace

   It's okay to trace. As long as you're paying attention to what you're doing and what the original artist did. It's okay to trace.

   As a learning exercise, I mean. Trace a drawing right there in the center of the paper, and then around the edges; make sketches that demonstrate the techniques you learned. I'd post up some of my own art where I did this, but seeing how the entire center of the page would be occupied by a cheap copy of someone else's most-likely-copyrighted work of art, I think I'll skip that.

Friday, September 20, 2013

SHADOW PUPPETS

   This is probably going to be the most problematic to adapt to screen. It's got some of the best action in the series, romance, and a lot of tough decisions regarding which plot lines to place focus on. Since they more or less all come to a head in the next one, easier said than done. Aside from that, the film is liable to attract a great deal of controversy based on subject matter alone, which we'll delve into below.

THE GOOD:
  1. It more or less opens on Peter springing Achilles from Chinese captivity. If that's not an awesome promise for the rest of the film, I don't know what is.
  2. John and Theresa decoding the bizarre spam email they both received and realizing Achilles's plot.
  3. Storming the compound, and Bean shooting Achilles in the eye! Awesome!
  4. The Wiggins going back up into space, to what was once the Battle School. That's bittersweet, an awesome visitation of the first movie, and top that with all the intrigue that goes on there.
  5. Virlomi inspiring the Great Wall of India, the new flag of India.

THE BAD:
  1. There's a lot of military and political maneuvering. A book can take all the time it wants to explain these, but in a movie it flies right past you. Unless they want to make the movie longer or something, but there's already a lot going on.
  2. Having Vlad meet Petra and Bean in the park where Chopin is playing. It's a lovely scene, and wants to be turned into a movie, but it's going to be one of the first things to go.

THE UGLY:
  1. The Caliphate stuff, where Alai is Caliph, probably won't be all that controversial. But you never know, and the fact that you never know could also get controversial. This controversy may break the move. Hopefully not.
  2. Anton could either be a great or terrible character in this one, depending on how he's played. He was an awesome part of Ender's Shadow, a Hannibal Lecter figure where he had to speak in riddles out of necessity. Now he still does that out of habit, but now he, a geneticist, says he wants to have children even though he is not attracted to women. I had always seen that as an admission of asexuality, but others have seen this as OSC somehow making a dig against gay people. See how that could be controversial? Speaking of...
  3. This inspires Petra gets all chickified, wanting desperately to have babies with Bean. This is kind of important to the plot, and it pulls us through the entire thing, but it wouldn't be very good onscreen.
  4. And then, because Bean's got genes that would have his children lead miserable existences as genus freaks with life-threatening cases of the giantisms, there's some abortion! Granted, the destruction of the zygotes are faked by Achilles, who wants those genetically gifted children for himself, but still, you had us going...

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Talk Like Whatever

   Arrgh avast ye swabby scurves. Shiver my dead man's pieces of the black spot. Yo ho ho and a bottle of booty... mmm.

   You know what? Talk Like a Pirate Day kinda sucks. It really does. I don't care what the internet thinks. It's bad in concept and bad in execution. Instead, there should be a... Talk Like Ben Stein Day. Yesss. Okay, from now on, Talk Like a Pirate Day is now Talk Like Ben Stein Day.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Thumb War


   Ha ha, eat it, animals!

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Ocean's 25

What's up, you guys? I'm Matt Damon. I'm here
to tell you a tale about a dear
old friend of mine. His name, in case you have
not guessed, is George Clooney. Others in staff
include Nic Cage, Bruce Willis, Steve Carell,
and the entire cast of Ocean's Twelve.
(Plus that thirteenth guy in Ocean's Thirteen.
No wait, Bernie Mac's dead, add Charlie Sheen.)

So, now that Danny Ocean has his crack
team of thieves, he will go and he will hack
the code for getting past the doors of that
new Vegas casino, the Fancy Cat.
Along the way, he'll have to pull eight bank
heists, steal a helicopter, and a tank,
intercept all of the video feed,
impersonate several officials, weed
out the traitor, and deal with secrets from
his past. Can our hero do it? That's dumb.
He's George Clooney! He can do anything!
Now sush down, and I, Matt Damon, will sing
--or at least tell in verse-- how awesome it
is. Okay, so, one day, George and Brad Pitt
were sitting and talking about the good 
old golden thiefy days when you could
break into a bank or casino
whether it be in Vegas or Reno
and it would actually break the bank.
You have modern technology to thank
what with these ATMs and digital
transactions credit cards, original
ways to stack the odds are impossible.
The only way is through un-boss-able
teenage hacker punks. Then George realizes
that he may have a few more surprises
up his sleeve. He tracks where the Fancy Cat
gets its money, and then- imagine that!-
He writes a bunch of bouncing checks to the
eight banks, so they'll all crash, and then he
goes to check out the Fancy Cat's own vault,
past the security. He finds a fault
in the passcode system: anyone with
military I.D., and this is no myth,
could get past it. So he steals a tank and
helicopter before the code is scanned.

Voila, he's in. So! You've seen him steal
from eight banks, and the chopper and tank, and deal
with his past. He's impersonated dudes
and looped the video, breaking into
the vault. But, wasn't there this other thing?
It was on lines sixteen and seventeen.
Oh, yeah! He had to weed out the traitor!
Who could be this mysterious satyr?
I've got to admit it. The traitor is me.
I, Linus Caldwell, am the Bourne Identity.
But don't worry, it's safe, everything's cool:
I lost my memory and now clean the school.
(Good Will Hunting, in case you couldn't tell.)
"What's up with these film mashups?" you ask. Well,
Let me say this: I've moved to Bollywood to break a leg.
Oh crap! I just got shot by Daniel freaking Craig!

So, what's the moral of this tale, where Bond... James Bond,
assassinates Jason Bourne? What's the deal? Where's the magic wand?

The moral, children, is something you can bear to face:
Sometimes Hollywood is a pretty messed-up place.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Dead Tropes

   They should bring back deathtraps, gosh darn it! I've haven't seen a good deathtrap since... sheesh... I don't think I've ever seen a good death trap. Is it one of those things that people make fun of despite the fact that it was never played straight to begin with? Superman, for example, only ever changed in a phone booth twice, both in the Max Fleischer cartoons, both times stating outright that it was an unusual thing to be doing, but that he was in a hurry.

   But death traps should be played straight. There ain't nothing funny about them.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Thespis Strip Dated Sunday, September 13, 2009

Click to embiggen.
TRANSCRIPT:
Offstage Voice 1: Yeah! Tang!
Offstage Voice 2: Woo-hoo!
Offstage Voice 3: Go! Go!
Offstage Voice 1: Yeah! Coke!
Offstage Voice 2: Rock on!
Offstage Voice 3: Yeah! Out of sight!
Offstage Voice 1: Alright! Ovaltine!
Offstage Voice 2: Choc-o-late milk!
Offstage Voice 3: Woot! Woot!
Offstage Voice 1: Hawaiian Punch!
Offstage Voice 2: Yeah!
Offstage Voice 3: Go! Go! Go!
Offstage Voice 1: ...
Offstage Voice 2: ...
Offstage Voice 3: ...
(Remember, Kids... Don't drink the Kool-Aid.)

Saturday, September 14, 2013

But Will It Work?

   Conception versus execution- how to tell how it will work. You get an idea and you get to write it, and it sounds so cool in your head, but you know that they say there's a difference between how something looks on paper and how something looks in reality. Costume designers for superhero films can attest to this.

   With writing things down, there's just no way to tell how that's going to work out on the paper. Some ideas your thoughts rambled on about, but are easily compressed into a few short sentences on the page, though you spent so much time thinking about it. And other thoughts, the thoughts you think aren't much and won't be much on paper, turn out to be extremely expandable, with new points to go off of and to expound upon. How to tell which thought is which? Beats me. But if I do figure it out, then I've already got this here to expand off of. So that's a win.

Friday, September 13, 2013

SHADOW OF THE GIANT

   Achilles is dead, but Bean, Petra, and Peter all have to deal with the effects of his actions.

THE GOOD:
  1. Opening up in a diner with Hot Soup. Bam, it's Ben Kingsley. He hands Hot Soup a pen, which he reveals to be actually a dart gun by calling it the Mandate of Heaven. There is just so much awesome with that.
  2. Find the embryos! 
  3. The ending sequel hook with Randi.
  4. Virlomi, after proving how crazy awesome and dangerous she can be in the last one, gradually succumbs to her own propaganda, and goes insane.
  5. The jeesh stuff is also cool.
  6. The adorable scene with the letter tucked into the diaper, and the addition of "I love you" to it.

THE BAD:

  1. Achilles is dead, which is sad because he was rad. All Peter has to go up against now is the entire Asian theater. Speaking of...
  2. Some have argued that revealing how Peter came into power takes away some of the excitement and mystery of just knowing he became Hegemon of Earth as Locke.


THE UGLY:

  1. Virlomi dreaming of her old friend Sayagi, who didn't make it out of rebelling against Achilles alive in Shadow of the Hegemon. I'm not sure how big a part he's going to play in that movie, which is what concerns me.
  2. How much to connect the ending of this to Shadows in Flight and Ender in Exile. Do we just focus on its own story, or delve further into that?


Thursday, September 12, 2013

Cap'n Dog

   ...That's not his name. Cap'n Dog, it's, not hit name. He is a dog, but he's... he's not even a captain. Just, he's a dog, and he's from Cap'n Patches. So I called it, Cap'n Dog. More, descriptive, than anything else.


   Once again I exhibit a pretty keen eye for textiles, but a somewhat two-dimensional conception of  anatomy... Check out that face! The right arm also kind of feels forced, but it's just tangencies in weird places, cancelling out the depth illusion... If I ever do a more polished version, with inking and coloring and everything, that'll get tidied up... it's kind of a minor piece, though, I'm not sure if it would be worth it...

   I think I will do that, actually; this one's got just too good of a base to let those three or four surface missteps utterly mar it...

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Antz

   Noticed something heartbreaking on the Antz poster. Antz came out more than a month before a Bug's Life, but they were different enough to avoid any questions of being cheap-knock offs of one another. Maybe? Either way, Bug's Life is a terrible movie anyway.

   But, look, right there, behind Z.


   Yeah, they both came out in 1998. At least it didn't take place in the future, like X-Men or A.I.. It's not like anyone knew what would happen.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Thusly a Deviant

   For those of you as impressed with Cailin's art as I am, you can check out some of her stuff on deviantART here, where she goes by the name of Avvaeccus (Ah-vay-shus.) She hasn't been on in years, at press time, which is more than a year ago when I scheduled this so maybe that's changed. http://avaeccus.deviantart.com/

   I'm kind of toying with the idea of getting a deviantART (or something) myself. I've got a blog because it's more solitary, and so you're kind of separated from everything so there's more emphasis on yourself, but, as part of a group, there's actually a greater chance of being found because people know to look.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Lampy's Adventures in Political Correctness

 

   That poor lamp can't do anything right. He deserves it, though, is the thing. He got what was coming to him.

   I just love the idea of a lamp being told that lamps can't have a sexual orientation.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Thespis Strip Dated Sunday, September 6, 2009

Click to embiggen.
TRANSCRIPT: 
Collin: In 
(Meanwhile, in an alternate universe in which "the Shubdubs" is the coolest name for a band ever...)
Collin: fact, the "boy" in the name El Niño refers to baby Jesus, as the phenomenon was first reported around Christmastime by Peruvian fisherman in the late 1800s.
La Niña, El Niño's counterpart,  (associated with colder-than-normal sea surface levels rather than warmer-than-normal ones) was discovered and named as recently as 1985.
ENSO, (El Niño-Southern Ocillation [sic]), while called simply "El Niño" in popular usage, actually refers to not only the El Niño-La Niña cycle, but also the cycle of Southern Ocillation, [sic] an ocillation [sic] in air pressure between the tropical Eastern & the Western Pacific Ocean waters.
Low atmospheric pressure tends to occur over warm and high pressure occurs over cold water, in part because deep convection over the warm water acts to transport air.
Also, the Shubdubs is the coolest band name ever.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Crab Ponies

   I am so sorry. Just, in keeping up with all the bizarre minutiae on the internet, I'd be remiss if I did not report this.

   It's like the absolute overcute big-headed stylization of Generation 3.5, taken far beyond its logical conclusion and transplanted into Generation 4. Crab Ponies. So far I've only seen Apple Jack and Twilight Sparkle crab ponies, but I think that's enough, right? The following video has been described as a succinct summation of the internet: 


   And crab Twilight marching, in .GIF format (because .GIFs rule):

inkbunny.net
   As far as I can tell, the phenomenon has nothing whatever to do with this, headcrab ponies:

blackrathmar.deviantart.com
   I hope you're happy, internet. I hope you're happy.

Friday, September 6, 2013

The Countdown

   In honor of the Ender's Game film coming out November 1 of this year, I've decided to do a series of posts leading up to the big event, once every Friday for all the Shadow books and the Ender Quartet, breaking down what a big-screen adaptation could look like. All the books in the series (okay, not like the Earth Unaware stuff, and I've yet to read Shadows in Flight, and if they were to adapt Ender in Exile I'm pretty sure it'd be as a television series (ooh, how cool would that be?) and plus I've got no place to fit those into the schema so I'm not going to bother.)

   Using my hip insider's knowledge of the film industry (and by that I mean that one time I interned at that indie movie) I'm going to offer up speculations about what would be good, bad, or ugly to translate to screen. Counting down from the Shadow books, starting next week, all the way to Ender's Game which I'm timing to coincide with the film's release.

   I just hope they don't change the release date on me. Man, would I look foolish then.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

George Clooney!

   George Clooney. Awesome, right? Handsome, charming, good actor. Except... Except his name is George Clooney. Think about that for a second. It just occurred to me. First of all, his name is George. George. We tend to overlook a celebrity's name, as some celebrities fit their names perfectly (there ain't nobody Meryl Streep-ier than Meryl Streep) but we've just sort of lived with George Clooney long enough to think that his name fits him, when really it doesn't. We're accustomed to associate a celebrity's name with that celebrity. Bill Murray. Clooney! That's not a name! Cloooooney. But, when combined with George, there's some magic there that makes him this sexy white tiger.

   Brad Pitt! There's a sexy exiting name for a sexy exiting celebrity. Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise. Yes. Matt Damon, okay. Matt, definitely, Damon, sure.You know who doesn't fit this? Hugh Grant. I guess I just sort of see him as being this Cary Grant sort of figure, but then I actually see him on screen and I think oh. He's so young. Shouldn't he be in his 80s or something? Hugh Grant is a terrible name for a celebrity. Hyoo. Grrrant.

   Does this only work with males? I couldn't tell you the difference between Penelope Cruz and Penelope Lopez (there is a Penelope Lopez, correctly? Yes? Alright.) Well, there's the aforementioned Ms. Streep, as well as the whole "complete the sentence" thing with Megan Fox. (Complete the sentence: Megan...)

   (See, you said "is a fox," didn't you?) So there's that. And men get to star in thrillers while females are stuck with interchangeable romcoms. But for females, for the most part their names aren't part of their identity. More of a handy label more than anything, that allows us to know which one we're talking about. "Oh! She was in that one with Johnny Depp that no one went to go see, and she was Fox in Wanted, and she was married to that d-bag a few years back. Yeah. Major hottie." See? The only reason I knew of the existence of Penelope Cruz is because she's somehow not related to Tom Cruise and they were in a relationship previously.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Colsen


   Agent Phil Colsen was set up heavily in Iron Man 2 in a part that didn't contribute to the story much at all but paid off in Avengers. Watch Avengers, then in Iron Man 2 it makes us glad to see more of him in retrospect. Since he died. And also, hey look it's the guy from that TV show! So, in conjunction with those, his part in Iron Man 2 is pretty major. But, in the film itself? Not much. His part didn't advance the plot forward. Very much, if at all- there's certainly not anything he does that couldn't have been done by a character we didn't have to take the pains to introduce. He was just more baggage in a (however long this movie was; I'm too lazy to look it up) movie. But, it foreshadowed. So all in all it was well done.

   Compare that to Jean Gray, who didn't have to sacrifice herself at the end of X2. She could have stayed inside the plane. But she didn't. If you look closely, though, there's a glow there. It foreshadowed her transformation into Phoenix. This was thrown out the window for X-Men 3.

   Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch, twin mutants who are also Avengers, can appear as Avengers as long as they're not explicitly mentioned as mutants (X-Men films being a Fox property.) I'm not sure why I'm bringing this up now, but I spent hours of research just to get that kernel of fact, so I'm using it, darn it! I guess to connect the two franchises?

   At least they've got the rights to the other Avengers.



Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Einstein's Riddle

   Albert Einstein is said to have given a riddle. He who solves it, it is said, proves an IQ in the top two percent, and is thus fit to join Mensa. Well, okay, entirely anecdotal Einstein. Let's say we've got five houses, all in a row. I guess there are people living in those houses. This much is known of them.
  1. The British person lives in the red house.
  2. The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
  3. The Dane drinks tea.
  4. The green house is on the left of the white house.
  5. The green homeowner drinks coffee.
  6. The man who smokes Pall Mall keeps birds.
  7. The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
  8. The man living in the center house drinks milk.
  9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.
  10. The man who smokes Blend lives next to the one who keeps cats.
  11. The man who keeps the horse lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
  12. The man who smokes Bluemaster drinks beer.
  13. The German smokes Prince.
  14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
  15. The man who smokes Blend has a neighbor who drinks water.
Question: Who owns the fish?

   All right. We can immediately rule out the cat owner, since fish in a home with cats in it would not last long. Nor dogs, for that matter. They'd probably just knock that fishbowl over. We know that it's neither of the bird owner nor the horse owner, so the fish owner must be the one remaining. Answer: the fish owner is the one who does not own birds, cats, dogs, or a horse. Elementary.

   Gee, what a stupid question. Mensa can suck it.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Déjà Vu (Film)

   Déjà Vu is a really really good movie, you guys. Forget all of the other time travel movies. None of those others have got a car chase IN TIME, meaning he's chasing a car in the past so he can track it while he's still in the present!

   There's kind of a problem with the timelines, though. The time travel science can't seem to make up its mind. (And most of the criticism levied against the film was in its portrayal of post-Katrina New Orleans...!)

   The explanation: multiple trips through time, by multiple Dougs. There's a really neat diagram on Wikipedia that explains all of this, but it's kind of too big to fit here, so I'll just link it. Link. I hope you get that. It may or may not be in danger of coming down, since it may or may not be original research on the part of... hold on... User:Wildonrio. Citation needed, and all that. But, hey, it's a good theory, and I'm saying so now, all of that is how I think it went down, so you can cite this!

   But Eric, you may say to yourself, wouldn't that be a paradox, Wikipedia citing you citing Wikipedia which itself cites you? To which I say: yes it would. But there sure aren't any paradoxes in Déjà Vu.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

“…A DIFFERENT AIR, A KIND OF COUNTRY LOVE-SONG THAT HE MUST HAVE LEARNED IN HIS YOUTH BEFORE HE HAD BEGUN TO FOLLOW THE SEA.”





And I would climb up o’er the mountains
And I would die a violent death
If I could fly up above these city walls
I’d love you with my final breath

But I understand
That there are people out there
Please try and understand
That there are people out there

Trying to stay alive.
Trying to find some love,
Sweet love.
And all we can do to survive
Is try and stay alive,
Try to find some love.

And all we can do to survive
Is try and stay alive
Try to find some love.
Oh-oh.