On Snipers and Rabbit-Holes

   This is going to be one of those boring personal emotional angsty posts. Woo. My apologies preemptively. If you want to get out, well, now would be a good time to do so...

   I've been going through something of a paradigm shift. With how I view myself, with how I view my friends, and with how I think my friends view me. There's a lot more... angst, than I remember there being, here than at any other time. Which fits, I suppose. Angst is fun.

   We're all people, I guess is my realization. We can view ourselves holistically if we want (for example, we're totally comfortable with the idea that we ourselves, like, poop and stuff, but we're rendered uncomfortable at the thought of celebrities or anyone doing that.) We can look at others, and look at ourselves, and realize others are themselves, but if they have an idea of "I" as much as anyone else does, it would be impossible to know it for sure. I've always thought that my "I" is strong- so then why am I so weak willed? Always thought it was a, virtue, how I leave my identity so undefined and open, how freedom to choose got placed above all else.

   But the question comes down to if I'm able to, how to put this, lead myself, as a sniper would lead his target. Get ahead of myself, predict what I'm going to do. I'm myself, though, so of course I'd know what I would do. There's still a certain pattern, a certain style, a certain flair there that is so inevitable. "Yeah. That's something I would say." I catch myself at activities that are so stereotypically me-- eating a bowl of cereal at the computer, listening to U2 and watching Friendship is Magic at the same time. I wouldn't have been able to predict that I'd do that, but it fits into what I would "do," and say, huh, that fits the pattern. I look at my friends, and I see the pattern there too, but I'm unable to predict what will happen next with any of them.

   Or with myself. I can't lead myself, I really can't. Comfort equaling restriction, both literally and metaphorically, it's got to be comfortable to have such a strict limiting identity. The more I go through the, the more it attaches to me, though- identity. I start liking things, and getting into them, and then viewing myself as a fan, and then I start to align myself to fit with that idea at the expense of others-- the opposite of the ostensible real purpose behind my wide-open identity. I stop caring about other identities, going down this rabbit-hole...

   This post is such a mess; I'm sorry... but it's an important mess.

   And I'll keep telling myself that.

Thespis Strip Dated Sunday, May 30, 2010

Click to embiggen.

TRANSCRIPT:
Collin: So, I was expirimenting [sic], messing around with my newly-found [sic] smarts, and decide that, you know what? It's time to test other people's smarts, too.
So, here's what I did to do that...
I set out to write the WORST POEM EVER!
You know, what with the over-sentimentality, the mixed metaphors, the hackneyed clichés...
All of that Fidencia Solomon crap...
Marvin: ...
Collin: And then I took it down to Bambi's beatnik club, and read it.
You know, to test if they knew crap when they heard it.
Marvin: And?
Collin: Those guys know what's up!
They snapped me right offa that stage! Right offa that stage!
Marvin, thinking: Oh, Collin...

Experiment, by Fredric Brown

   "THE FIRST time machine, gentlemen," Professor Johnson proudly informed his two colleagues. "True, it is a small-scale experimental model. It will operate only on objects weighing less than three pounds, five ounces and for distances into the past and future of twelve minutes or less. But it works."

   The small-scale model looked like a small scale—a postage scale—except for two dials in the part under the platform.

   Professor Johnson held up a small metal cube. "Our experimental object," he said, "is a brass cube weighing one pound, two point three ounces. First, I shall send it five minutes into the future."

   He leaned forward and set one of the dials on the time machine. "Look at your watches," he said.

   They looked at their watches. Professor Johnson placed the cube gently on the machine's platform. It vanished.

   Five minutes later, to the second, it reappeared.

   Professor Johnson picked it up. "Now five minutes into the past." He set the other dial. Holding the cube in his hand he looked at his watch. "It is six minutes before three o'clock. I shall now activate the mechanism—by placing the cube on the platform—at exactly three o'clock. Therefore, the cube should, at five minutes before three, vanish from my hand and appear on the platform, five minutes before I place it there."

   "How can you place it there, then?" asked one of his colleagues.

   "It will, as my hand approaches, vanish from the platform and appear in my hand to be placed there. Three o'clock. Notice, please."

   The cube vanished from his hand.

   It appeared on the platform of the time machine.

   "See? Five minutes before I shall place it there, it is there!"

   His other colleague frowned at the cube. "But," he said, "what if, now that it has already appeared five minutes before you place it there, you should change your mind about doing so and not place it there at three o'clock? Wouldn't there be a paradox of some sort involved?"

   "An interesting idea," Professor Johnson said. "I had not thought of it, and it will be interesting to try. Very well, I shall not ..."

   There was no paradox at all. The cube remained.

   But the entire rest of the Universe, professors and all, vanished.

Small Yellow Flower-Pocalypse Part III: Survival

   This is the zombie threat list, which I hope I'm the first one to come up with. I probably am, because it lists zombies at the bottom of the threat list.

1. If the zombie apocalypse came upon us, remember that the greatest threat to your survival is not the undead, but your fellow survivors. 
2. The next greatest threat is the environment.
3. Then yourself.
4. Then zombies.

   Most people only think of combat, but survival is a lot more than that. This lack of planning is exactly why, as far-fetched as it may seem, mindless slow-moving creatures will be able to take over most of the planet. It is thus always a good idea to be prepared: stock up on the essentials before the apocalypse. Don't just start when the warning signs become apparent, as the price to everything will have risen dramatically by then, and you don't know when the riots and looting will start (the riots and looting will be the second reason that decomposing ramblers will be able to take over the planet (see point 1.)) Start stocking up now. Like, right now. Or the past, although I suppose if you do that you don't need to survive the apocalypse. Increase the size of your food pantry. I mean it; this is not hypothetical.

   Aside from these essentials of food and water and toilet paper, you're going to need nonessential, comfort items. Not for yourself, you understand. After the apocalypse, these will be in such high demand it won't be funny. We're talking cigarettes, candy, coffee, drugs, pornography. Anything addictive or routine, that people can't live without. And weapons. These things generally come in very high demand in prison, they'll come in high demand here. Such a flow of goods will make you non-disposable to your team, increasing your likelihood of survival considerably. Meanwhile, though, I suggest cutting your own dependence on these things. Except weapons. And maybe toilet paper. Having nothing you need could only make you a shrewder bargainer.

   But, yeah, this is supposed to be fun, not an economics lesson. It's about how you'd fight the zombies. My own strategy? It's like yours, but also I'd totally wire a grenade to my heart so that I blow up as many of them as I can when my heart stops beating.

Small Yellow Flower-Pocalypse Part II: Backstory

   My scenario on the existence of zombies, my scientific hypothesis on how they could be possible (don't worry, I won't test it,) begins with a blood infection. This blood infection is caused by some virus or defect in the white bone marrow, which is in charge of making red blood cells. See how that works? Alright. This infection causes a sickle-cell-like condition, in which blood is formed irregularly. The condition makes vitamin C almost impossible to be absorbed by the body, which causes scurvy. Scurvy is not only a disease of the bones, but it also causes the skin to become flaky. Basically, leprosy, which meanwhile is also going on I guess. It causes both scurvy and leprosy.

   In real life, real science, not zombie science but we're switching to real science mode, leprosy does not cause your skin and limbs to fall off; it merely creates an ideal environment for gangrene to set in, which does cause all of those things. So it's like that.

   Okay, zombie mode again. The bones, meanwhile, are of course getting brittle, combined with the gangrene to bring on full-on rotting mode. Meanwhile, the virus is shutting down higher brain function, turning you all shambly. It causes an addiction to blood, because that's how the virus spreads, so the virus wants you to want blood. It also enhances scents sense somehow, neurological sensory stuff I learned once, because zombies need to smell the blood. I guess all of this is biologically possible.

   Which is scary.

Small Yellow Flower-Pocalypse Part I: Theories

   Okay, it's long been promised, but here it actually is.

   As everyone's entitled to their own fantasy zombie Apocalypse survival plan, everyone's entitled to a theory on why zombie Apocalypse fantasies are so popular, as well as scenarios as to how zombies exist in the first place. We'll deal with the psycho stuff first here.

1. Fear of conformity. Zombies=ultimate conformity.
2. Fear of outsiders. Zombies=ultimate outsiders.
3. Fear of ourselves. There's a zombie in every one of us. Uncanny valley stuff, just enough like us be maddeningly terrifyingly wrong.
4. Psychopathy. Relentlessly slaughtering everyone else is cathartic for us. We all want to kill, just, everyone. It's no fun to kill just one dude. You have to kill everyone else. Everyone who is not you. Sheep. That's why zombies make baaa noises. 
5. Distopianism as a genre- a world where the social contract is negated and it would actually be your obligation to break all the rules. Wish fulfillment on a grand scale.
6. Fascination with the cult of death. I guess.

Thespis Strip Dated Sunday, May 23, 2010

Click to embiggen.

TRANSCRIPT: 
Marvin: Wes Anderson's 2009 film Fantastic Mr. Fox... a veritable masterpiece!
Collin: Shameless plug shameless plug!
Marvin: It's got action, romance, George Clooney, comedy, sports, irony, heisting, music, bipedal anthropomorphic quadrupeds, whimsy, angst, self-reference, stop-motion animation... something for everyone!
Collin: Well, not everyone...
There's nothing in the for the stamp collectors!
Marvin: Well-
wait... what?
Collin: I mean it! I watched and rewatched that movie over and over again...
...(a compulsively easy thing to do)...
...and could not find one shred of stamp collecting in that film!
Marvin: uh...
Collin: PHILATELY IS A REAL THING, PEOPLE!!!
Marvin: oh, Collin...

The Balloon Identity

   I'm not sure if you've seem The Red Balloon, but if you haven't, then oh well.

Correspondence 6/7/10 13:50 - 15:09

Some pictures I drew early on
From POMegranate to Persomem   Jun 7, 2010 1:50 pm
I was searching through old stuff and I found early concept art. Here's my first cathexis device:

And here's, like, the first picture I drew about the PoM. It concerns Searchers and I think pretty much sums the whole thing up:

And this one is definitely freaky: the first lethean concept art, possibly even more freaky than what we've got now (presumably because they resemble undead Oompa-Loompas in masks):

Re: Some pictures I drew early on
From Persomem to POMegranate   Jun 10, 2010 2:12 pm
Gah, these are all very nightmarish. They've got a certain tone about them...
The Searchers one is awesome, by the way.

Re: Some pictures I drew early on
From POMegranate to Persomem   Jun 10, 2010 3:09 pm

And here's an early impression of Nephyrem's (sorry, Phyr's) distinctive helmet.

Millionaire Math

   I've been watching a lot of game show clips YouTube, so prepare for more of these.

   I would have lost, since it was timed and I realized too late they were talking about squares instead of primes. I had confused primes before with this. Uh, that's it, I think.

   It's like that one scene in the Canadian horror movie Cube, infamous to mathematicians because it takes a character a few seconds to figure out whether or not an even number and a number ending in five are prime or not. Only this is about square numbers which I thought meant primes, and didn't know what they were talking about right off the bat?

   I've gotten too complacent in thinking I've got WWtbaM's mathematics beat, I guess.

?$?$?$?$?

   Show do Milhão, the Brazilian version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?, differs from the American version in a few crucial ways. For one, you get half the money won from previous questions as a consolation prize. The audience (of "ask the audience" fame) consists, Price is Right-like, of contestants waiting their turn to play. You can stop at any time instead of answering and get all the money you would have on up till that point. Barring the million dollar prize, of course. Also, the prize money is usually given in gold bars, which is awesome. But none of those differences are why I'm talking about it now.

   Yesterday I had discussed the Monty Hall problem and how it applied to 50:50 on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?. In Show do Milhão their equivalent of 50:50 is a lifeline called "the cards." Pick a card, any card, out of the four cards face down in front of you. If you pick a three, three wrong answers are eliminated, if you pick a two, two wrong answers are eliminated, an ace, one wrong answer, a king, no wrong answers. Does this change the math?

   At first blush, you'd think not: there's a 25% of each, right? Half favorable and half unfavorable. That averages out to 50%. But think twice about that. When you select a 50:50, there's a 100% chance of having a 50% chance on a blind guess, which means a 50% chance of guessing correctly. When you select the cards, it's not 50%, though there's a one-in-four chance of each- 25% of having all wrong answers eliminated, but 25% of having none, et cetera. If you have one wrong answer eliminated and had to guess blindly between the other three, there's a one in three chance you select the correct answer. There's 25% chance you get a 25% chance (no answers eliminated, four answers left,) 25% chance you get a 33.333% chance (one answer eliminated, three answers left,) 25% chance you get a 50% chance (two answers eliminated, two answers left,) and a 25% of you get a 100% chance (three answers eliminated, one answer left.)

   Another counter-intuitive solution: mathematically that boils down to, no a 50:50 proposition, but a little over a 52:48 proposition, your favor.

The Montie Hall Problem

   Let's talk a little about Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?.

   There's the classic game show problem of three doors. Behind one is a (presumably fabulous) prize. Behind the other two are the dreaded ZONKs. You select one door at random, and the host shows you a ZONK behind a door you didn't pick. You had a 1/3 chance of selecting the (presumably fabulous) prize one the first random selection, now there are two doors, and if you select one of them at random you'd have a 50/50 chance for the prize. Meaning, switch that door, you. It's mathematically sound.

   How does this tie into Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? The 50/50 lifeline on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire let's say you chose an answer, but didn't make it your final one.

Unlike here. Ouch.

   You decide not to risk it so early, and select the 50/50 to see if you were on the right track. You were! That's the equivalent of two ZONKs eliminated, right? So, the question is, do the same principles apply here? Would switching tracks, even though you thought you were on the correct path before, yield a more favorable result? It makes sense. There was a 25% chance of the selection of the correct answer, and now there's a 50% chance. That's 50% better odds, or a 37.5% chance over a 25% chance (that's how that works, right? Somebody who knows this stuff correct me if I'm wrong, please.)

   Remember, though, that's only if the answer you thought it was was one of the ones to remain up on the board (once again, there's a 50% chance of that happening.) If it doesn't, then it truly is a 50-50 chance. If there's a 50% chance of there being a 50% chance and a 50% chance of there being a 37.5% chance, then instead of being called 50:50, maybe the lifeline should be called, shoot, 565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656565656. (The cat just stepped on the keyboard there (apparently pressing two keys at the same time types both of them alternating?), but, why not, let's call it that, as it's still numbers, and reminiscent of Who Wants to be a Millionaire?'s $?$?$?.) 43.75:56.25.

   No, but really, pressing two keys at the same time makes them alternate. Try it. And, holding down the shift key while pressing 4 and / at the same time... $?$?$?$?$?$?$?$?$?$?$?$?$?$?$?$?$?$?$?$?$?$?$?$?

   It takes some practice, but it is possible.

Correspondence 5/19/10 22:08 - 22:29

   We discuss the theme from Fritalian!

Re: Progress Report
From POMegranate to Persomem   Mar 19, 2010 10:08 pm
What was the name of the theme from Fritalian again?

Re: Progress Report
From Persomem to POMegranate   Mar 19, 2010 10:10 pm
Political Sex?

Re: Progress Report
From POMegranate to Persomem   Mar 19, 2010 10:13 pm
No, no, that's by the Them They Those Guys. Comrade Helicopter, however, does a song that's the theme from that one action/ road trip movie. Easy There Tiger or something like that. Hold On There Tiger? Whoa There Tiger? I don't think it's Hold On There, because I remember it not sounding like a kitten was dangling helplessly from a wire.

Re: Progress Report
From Persomem to POMegranate   Mar 19, 2010 10:16 pm
Hm, then I don't remember.

Re: Progress Report
From POMegranate to Persomem   Mar 19, 2010 10:20 pm
It's WTT, then.

Re: Progress Report
From Persomem to POMegranate   Mar 19, 2010 10:23 pm
Kay.

Re: Progress Report
From POMegranate to Persomem   Mar 19, 2010 10:24 pm
Whoa There Tiger (Theme from Fritalian) if I wasn't clear enough for you. I had made that abundantly clear, but then I was distracted by lavish '30s musical numbers, and forgot to do that.

Re: Progress Report
From Persomem to POMegranate   Mar 19, 2010 10:29 pm
Other than the parentheses, I knew what you were saying. Took me a second though.

...A Thing

   The ending of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog always kind of confused me. No, not that part. The very end. Not the very very "...a thing" end, but the part before that. Yeah. Evil League of Evil, man, you got in, congrats!

   It confused me, because in that scene, I thought that he was somehow infiltrating the Good League of Good. The presence of Bad Horse there notwithstanding. Maybe it was Good Horse, the Thoroughbred of Virtue?

The Bourne Déjà Vu

   Déjà Vu is so mainstream. Being familiar with something you've never seen before? Scoff. Please. You know what would be awesome? Taking something you've already seen but being completely unfamiliar with it. It wouldn't be amnesia, in the same way déjà vu isn't Groundhog's Day. But it'd still be the opposite of déjà vu, you know?

   What would it be called? Déjà vu means already seen, so... never seen, or jamias vu. Ha, that's awesome.

   Freak, that already exists? Well, I've certainly never heard of it before.

   Or have I?



   ...Yeah, that was it. You can go home now.

Thespis Strip Dated Sunday, May 16, 2010

Click to embiggen.

TRANSCRIPT:
Marvin: Hey Bambi! Hot enough for ya?
Collin: !
You shouldn't do that, Marvin.
Marvin: Do what?
Collin: In a flat white expanse for a world, where scenery or any reference outside is conjured up purely for plot convenience, such as the table on 2-15-09 and 5-10-09...
You really can't say that there's such thing as temperature.
Although Bambi, being a deer, (and an outside character) does have the ability to sense heat, "hotness" as opposed to "heat" would be a subjective rather than objective thing, so I guess you're right in that aspect.
Marvin: Wha-... Wha-...
Collin: Why am I suddenly so smart? Well, since I'm back alive, I figured I'd better take care of myself, starting with my reputation. So it's no more "dumb Collin" from now on!
Marvin: So you just got smarts from out of nowhere?
Collin: The Editor hasn't been giving me Notes behind your back, if that's what you mean.
Editor's Note: Oh yes I have!
Collin: Drat.

The Risk I Took VI

   Returning to the dangling plot threads of the actual story that got hijacked by a long and pointless subplot that completely derailed the whole story. China's still a big threat. Britain's still got not-at-all-veiled alternate history steampunk technology. And now, they're going head-to-head! Awesome! No, wait: they went head-to-head. While we were paying attention to the decline and fall of the Portuguese (re: Spanish) Empire, which was less of an empire and more of a democratic republic since they apparently had a president-- Britain and China were having all of their fights.

   WHAAA--?

   So, while we weren't paying attention, China had gained occupancy of several British (really Swedish, German, and Polish) cities. Warsaw and Danzig from Poland, Stockholm in Sweden, and Berlin in Germany, if you really must know. However, Britannia have managed to hold most of the Oriental forces back, since they've probably got steam-power jet packs and stuff. They themselves, in their fight against the Chinese forces, have managed to themselves advance to occupy the central European cities of Sarajevo, Budapest, and Zagreb. These cities ostensibly are part of the Catholic Empire, but it's not like they put up much of a fight, exactly who owns what cities is kind of arbitrary in this universe and anyway I said we're through with those guys.

   Now all of the action is taking place in a Chinese-bombarded Vienna. It's holding up strongly, with the help of French support. China is back 9 Risk troops, whatever that may count for, and Britannia has been put back no troops. I guess they just used Catholic mooks as shock force human shields or something, to whatever extend we are in fact apparently no ignoring the existence of the Catholic Empire. Or it could be the steam-powered weaponry. Yeah, that's probably it.

   And so, that's the backstory for whatever the heck that was.

The Risk I Took V

   More big news: the Catholic Empire is a thing that exists, independent of the Roman Empire. For it is to the Catholic Empire that the Portuguese send their desperate petitions after the realization that the Romans are messing them up something fierce. How are all of these factions separate? Shouldn't they all historically be the same thing? When will the subplot with the Chinese and the British Colonization come back into play? Well, one of these questions is going to be answered. Very soon.

   The Catholic Empire swoops in and destroys 10 Roman troops with no loss of their own, as by this point the Roman Empire (who, here, remember, specialize in naval-based combat) are far too spread out to maintain an effective defensive barrier. By that time, however, the 15 Portuguese (forces?) left over from the previous attacks were no more, as the Romans had already taken over Portugal (Spain?) from one front while it was in a weakened state in a war from two fronts- France, still kind of miffed at Portugal's betrayal, had attacked and taken over Pamplona (yes.)

   I guess Portugal/Spain is out of the picture now. Also, you know the Catholic Empire, that heretofore unmentioned superpower that logically shouldn't exist in the first place but came down like a deus ex machina to save Portugal until it turned out that there was no Portugal to save anymore and so aside from making no sense within the context of the universe also served no purpose in the story? We're not seeing them again, either. We could... pretend that didn't just happen? Yeah, let's pretend that didn't just happen.

The Risk I Took IV

   Here's the part where things get a little Risk-y. That is to say, the board game-based mechanics of this universe begin showing their roots. To counter Rome's holding hostage of their missionaries, Portugal sends out exactly five troops. (See?). An alliance between Portugal and France is struck (see?), and France sends out 15 troops of its own (see?). Rome destroys seven of France's fifteen troops (I guess that leaves eight left) and, in retaliation, brutally slaughters all of Portugal's captive missionaries. I'm not sure if the Romans ever knew that those guys weren't Chinese. No matter. They're dead now. France, with their presumably eight troops remaining (how much is a troop, anyway? Have I been doing it wrong?) with their eight remaining-- units, I guess-- have removed the threat of Rome off of the minor Mediterranean islands, because that's how combat works in Risk. The Mediterranean is a slightly safer place to be, yay.

   Portugal's missionaries were still killed, though, and, enraged at France's incompetence, they decide to break the treaty off. The announcement of said break-up comes in the form of ambushing the heck out of some peaceful French ships. The Portuguese ships themselves are ambushed by Roman ships immediately afterwards-- for a society that apparently doesn't have enough spies to tell the Portuguese from the Chinese, they sure have good timing. Also, they were still kind of the undisputed rulers of the Mediterranean all along, with their fancy pirate ships and things, so there's that. For Portugal, what was a simple misunderstanding before has now turned into outright aggression, and the President (yes) of Portugal declares war (yes) on Rome. By the time he had gotten around to doing this, however, Rome was already waging a war on the shores of Portugal, cutting all communications off so that the President would have no way of knowing that Rome was already occupying the cities of Barcelona and Cadiz (yes.) (I guess Portugal had assimilated Spain somewhere along the line?) Anyway more Risk stuff, because the precise number of troops-- units!-- taken out was five.

The Risk I Took III

   Part three. Apparently Catholicism is somehow still around. Are we going for some sort of "convergent timelines" explanation?

   SO, the Roman Empire, still being around and all, have "herd talle" (I'm presuming it means "heard tale") of China's new power play to expand westward. They take captive a group of Portuguese Missionaries, presuming them to be Chinese spies. Hey, it's not like I make the rules. Okay, I did, as I wrote this in the first place, but that was a far younger version of me. There are Portuguese people who look Chinese, right? Right? Okay, China here refers to not just the Middle Kingdom but Russia and India, so their concept of China is far broader than our concept of China. Of course.