ambition, obligation, followthrough

(experimenting with formatting, it kinda just feels right)

｢because people tell me to｣

1.  obligations for 2024
2. 2024 campaign
3. book club
4. fiddler on the roof
5. Watching Every Cats and (Sequel Trilogy) Star Wars in One Day: A Vlog and Also a Video Essay

why do we do the things we do: a question I've been asking myself for years. (like Shinji Ikari (going there!) being confronted with the question of his own motivations for doing things in the final two episodes of Neon Genesis Evangelion)

it's a question that I've had to confront head-on a couple of times this year, managing to sort of glance off it both times- going in consulting with a few friends on my script for WECa(ST)SWiOD Aaron asked me (and I'd been asking why the audience should care, and I'd been asking what my central thesis even was, and both these questions were circling around it but also glancing off of it) why I even decided to start the project in the first place, why I decided to vlog so much on that initial day knowing that I'd be making it a project to begin with, and I only sort of had an answer; auditioning for Fiddler and filling out the cast role questionnaire where it asked why I even wanted to audition or be in the show in the first place, which totally took me aback because it's not a question I'd ever thought to ask myself, and I only sort of had an answer.

 i feel obligated i guess. 

I realized today, chafing against being told to do something I already felt obligated to do, that I just,, feel,,, obligated. I'm not sure what's deeper than that, but at least we've uncovered that.

The noble Brutus

 hath told you Caesar was ambitious.

 If it were so, it was a grievous fault...

My obligations list for 2024 seems somewhat ambitious, in some regards. Shifting a gear, unsure if it connects to previous thoughts, but a thought nonetheless I've realized recently. (going back in my YouTube history to find what triggered this realization, it's from ym birthday, I happened to watch on my birthday.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5byfi2JVdo about a vdeio game that was promised and Kickstarted and was ambitious but never came to fruition, because the ambition was just ambition, and anyone can be ambitious. you can have all th' ambition in the world but it means nothing if you lack followthrough. 

AMBITION IS NOTHING WITHOUT FOLLOWTHROUGH

A couple of lessons taking into the new year- is the followthrough just something I do because I feel obligated to that also, I don't know.