Absolutely do not get church. It always feels like I want to be joyous when it's time to be reverent and be reverent when it's time to be joyous. There's a Greek legend of when Pan was visiting some dude's house on a chilly night, and noticed how the guy blew out hot air to warm his hands but blew out cold air to cool his soup, and Pan's all well which is it? and the guy's all excuse me? and like Pan straight up murders the dude for inconsistency of mouth temperature.
and That's how I feel, like, all the time. Not the killing per se, that's just Greek gods being strange and capricious, but the ???s over my head, cos to Pan the mortal was the capricious one. It's like, wild, man.
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