One Day More

I spent about half the day (24-hour period) sitting in with Mom (Grandma.) She's had the rattle since last night, which means the end is close, but sometimes they hold on for weeks after it starts. Hope not; the funeral arrangements have already been made. We'd figured it would be today, and, well not so far. Not to my knowledge at least.

I realized that I didn't really need to be there to see it happen. It's quiet, and kind of boring, and could happen at any time, and I don't think the actual death itself is going to change anything; I've already cried the tears I've meant to. A lot of the times they won't go until they're alone; they're always holding onto something. She hasn't opened her eyes since this morning, has been comatose since then, but they're still aware of everything around them and everything, they say.

So I got to tell her what happens in Infinity War. That's something to get done while she's still alive, and I did it. Not everything that happens, because it's a long movie, but I went over all the plot lines and stuff. I did talk about the ending and what it means. And maybe I could use this opportunity to go in-depth about how this movie made me feel, but I won't.

Another while-still-alive opportunity. So I'm not afraid of clowns, and I think it's patently ridiculous to be afraid of clowns, and one time we met a clown and it was pretty freaky, but only because the clown was a real person, and apparently knew grandma, because she's the one who took us to meet him. I only asked about this when she was already in the coma, but everyone there said she knew no clowns, so.

But those were the two things I think needed to be done. There was a stretch there where she had her husband and all her children in the room, even the one in Nova Scotia over speakerphone, and that would have been a great opportunity to die, and she didn't. I really don't know what she's waiting for.