FILM! FILLLM! what's the guy's name! what's his contact info! Dad talking to my high school video production teacher about how good I was at producting videos! It's what I'm good at! It's what I enjoy doing! there are all these steps and I just want to edit right now, not have to shoot anything; I enjoy the different steps differently and I'm finding motivation lacking what-cha-cha. The filming part of the process is a problem because of this: I enjoy performing it. I also enjoy shooting it. But I can't be in front of the camera AND behind it at the same time!!
but feeling a lot of pressure lately for jobly job, everybody's trying to push a full time job at me docked an hour a week so getting away with calling it a part time job. I'm disenfranchised with the whole system right now but still want to work because I want to be able to provide for a family! and no other reason. and it's like yes let's bring in that bicycle clown (bike clown is a metaphor for JOB ON FILM SET SOMEHOW.)
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