Dudes (Doods)

The Batman: The Animated Series episode Feat of Clay pt II has some of the best animation I've ever seen from anything ever. And a stellar voice cast to boot. But yeah.

So. It feels like an elephant in the room, but the elephant is too stupid to be worth talking about much, because it's a, I guess, greedy cameelious elephant and if you talk about it the elephant wins? I feel that maybe messages SHOULD be sugar-coated, like Batman has all these guns and all this darkness, but Batman's a good guy and he always wins and nothing too bad ever really happens, so like you acknowledge the world is there and is full of badness but don't really swim around in it too much. Thinking about all the ways the world is wrong and unjust and unmerciful just takes the wind out of my sails, maybe because it raises the issue but doesn't really suggest what we can do about it.

Conference should be a, well safe space for lack of any better term, and it does suggest what we can do about (issues,) so it's Batman in that regard, but there's this big old Joker wildcard in that it's live, and in a peoplepacked venue, and so it doesn't feel safe. I'm always afraid that the speaker is going to get violently assassinated while we watch or something, but the next worse thing does happen, increasingly. Some random rando in the audience yelling three or four times about how the POTUS is a sex predator is a sail dewinder; it's merciless and unjust and offers no solution in sight. Though, to be fair and forgiving of others' actions, it does take guts to pull such a stunt, and I wouldn't have been able to do it. Certainly an odd choice of venue. Let's talk about something else.

I had a minor sort of meltdown in the store today. Didn't really do anything, just sort of collapsed in defeat, there onto the ground just past the checkout registers. The cashback option feature, at least of the automated checkouts, is just so poorly programmed; once you've gotten there you can back out of the cashback itself but there's no way to back out of the transaction in toto by that point. I got help, but nothing was really satisfactory, the cashback option I wanted still didn't work out mathematically, not with the whole transaction having gone through like that.

But collapsing like that anyway, something I've felt like doing many times and for a long, long time, was that right? I run around like a little kid, skip and jump and sing when I'm happy, and if you're allowed to do that, why does it disturb people if you display your emotions when you're upset? It's a minor sort of thing, but one I could have handled a lot lot worse; are our coping mechanisms supposed to be 100% invisible, and if so, why?

Another question. I sketched some of the speakers and stuff at conference, and I think they're pretty darn good, but how do I, maybe not these ones, but, display, anything? Or does anybody? Being an artist is like a tough thing because nobody's supposed to run around all boasting and everything, but displaying your art, even disclosing your art, is like hey here's something really personal. judge it. Brother Keller says people who are like, "oh. you're an art major." react that way because they're scared, because it takes a lot of bravery to be an artist. Not only because nothing's a guaranteed thing in the field, and steady jobs are hard to come by. But also, probably, because of that exposure, and vulnerability. And two different YouTube comments on two different YouTube videos both are about how whatever particular Nolan films, Dark Knight and Inception, are overrated and bad films, which is clearly not the case, and no artistic endeavor is safe from criticism.

And making art is like the most selfish thing you can do, but then sharing that, though it may be the opposite of that, still feels selfish as well because it's like, hey look at this thing, yeah it's pretty great, I'm pretty great. Even if it's genuinely improving other people's lives, however it would do that, it doesn't feel selfless.

So it may be just like cultural expectations and weird constructions of morality, where it's all based on absolutely no rocking the boat and if you do you're selfish, but it just feels weird. They even have a point, how selfishness is bad, like that's totally valid, maybe drawing attention to yourself is selfish maybe they do have a point, and so, it makes this particular meme difficult to dislodge from your brain. Like corn in your wisdom tooth hole. Or wisdom teeth in your cornhole. As is wont to happen.

I'll Get Him to Sign You a Copy (PretzelsVlog no 13)

Stubby Slumber

I'm so tired right now I may explode. Burst like a bloated old sun-rotted fig. Urgh.

I stubbed my toe so hard this evening that it bled, and then I stubbed it again two more times. It might be broken now, I wonder if it's broken.

That was on the way to the cinema to watch Ready Player One. The seats were sold out by the time I got there. Yep. Had to walk back too.

I still haven't heard back about that Experience bundle. Maybe I'm the only one? Wouldn't be the first time. No, not by far.

Closed my eyes for a few seconds just now and started dreaming in homework. This is going to be great. At least I'm finished with that part.

The website and the booklet have been designed. It's poster time now.

Pre-Reg

So going into Fat Cats today to see if I can preregister for that Ready Player One Experience event, it turns out that they were unprepared for my asking, and I'd been the first one to express interest. Which, is alright I guess; doesn't mean that people aren't interested (if I didn't have class tomorrow right before, I'd just show up for it unannounced myself.) They took down my name and number and I didn't even have to pay yet, which I'd been prepared to do.

They also took down the number of tickets I was looking for, just one; it hadn't occurred to me that I'd be able to, like, see the film with someone else. Which is weird because there's exactly that question, number of tickets requested, in my form for the made-up AIGA conference in the Advanced Typography project we're doing (the con would have this, exclusive Infinity War premiere screening. I think I've mentioned before, I chose for my project, the typography of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.)

BLFC higher-tier preregistration closes on the 30th, meanwhile. Looking over it, I don't really need one of those higher tiers. I definitely want a tee, and they're supposed to be cheaper (and a guaranteed snag) with the patron or sponsor tiers, but that extra stuff isn't all that much extra. Like, my name given special thanks in the con book; it's my first furry convention (basically my first nerd convention period) and I don't know if that jazz is all worth it yet. And nobody said the tee need be from THIS year's con...

So I think we decided, we don't need that level of preregistration. Though we still have a couple of days if we really want to change our mind.

This year's BLFC website at first blush looks to be typeset in Futura, but upon closer inspection the second leg of the uppercase R in this typeface doesn't meet the first leg like it does in that typeface, and the W's are quite distinctive with their three upper terminals but meeting in a "T" on the left. The center vertex of the uppercase M also might be very slightly above the baseline; it's hard to tell but I think so. Using several Google Chrome extensions to peek into the CSS, the font's name is Josefin Sans. Mystery solved. Seriously this CSS stuff is a godsend. You've got no idea how nuts it drives me to be sitting there in real life and noticing a font I can't identify.

Speaking of Futura, that's totally the typeface they use in that #BecauseOfHim video! Which, I'll, maybe Easter??

Throughout the Rest

Font size, LARGE. Verdana mode, ACTIVATED. All's good on a technical level. Ready to post!

Or well perhaps um y'see I would be if I had any ideas. Guess I'll actually, like, discuss what's going on right now...

Okay. Tomorrow Wednesday, art night in the evening and, it's the only time I can squeeze in going to go see Early Man; there's classes and/or whatnot on all the other days forthwith. Fathom Events is also doing a Studio Ghibli celebration series, Ponyo tomorrow, but that's never been my favorite Ghibli film, so I can miss that one for Art Night. (Maybe one day I'll go back and break down how many times I've mentioned that phrase and the math of, how many times I've capitalized against how many times I've left it un-.) 

Thursday, class. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, right when I'm beginning to have fun with this class again. We're supposed to have the website due, alongside the 8-page pamphlet/booklet. Thursday is also Ready Player One; super psyched for it. There's a $20 bundle that includes a ticket and a virtual reality experience, starting at 7:00. Class letting out at fifteen till, we'll see if I can make it.

Friday. The on-campus artist workshop are having an end-of-the-semester party. Friday is also the final Foreign Cinema night of the semester. The trend seems to be, we usually end with a silent movie. I'm not sure if I've told you about the foreign movie of the week before last, but it's called A Man Called Ove and it's amazing.

Saturday. General Conference. Last day of the month as well. I remember what I'd been going to post today; the Easter video the Church put out. Redoing their first one, still the best one as well so I'm glad.

Good for now though.

Calculations Warm

All these thoughts and calculations tumbling through my head. Some of them are mathematical, but not all. How much money I have right now, how much money I'll make this week, how much money I'll spend this week. When's the date for this, will I make it to this in time, how far apart are these two events. Are the mathematical ones. Would this be worth it, how would my parents react, where would we sleep, are non-mathematical. But still calculations.

I guess my head is more fit for numbers than I'd thought.

I've been thinking about disclosure as well. Why am I so open about things, can a man be honest without needing to tell his life story. I suppose that by and large most people probably can, but anything less than the whole truth feels weak somehow. Floodgates, is the term I use. So much as mention where I served my mission, that opens up a host of them, the circumstances behind every thing. Am I immodest? Am I exhibitionist? These questions crop up, going into so much detail on my life, in my vlog I'm filming now. 

Running out of time, is what I am. Have to post this now.

Fontology

So now that booting up my computer this morning caused the USB ports AND the webcam to start working, you'd expect everything to be fine, right?

The answer is actually basically yes. Computer-wise at least.

Looking back through some of these posts, I find that my writing is most engaging when I'm putting out these big long personal stories where I open up with my vulnerabilities.

Meh. Don't feel like it.

So I'm trying to track down the typeface they use in Black Panther, not the modified version of Beyno they use for the titles themselves but the typeface they use for the subtitles. It's sans serif, geometric, on the squarish side, the lower case g's are single story, the descenders curve... Nothing terribly unique about those. The bowls, though, are the really distinctive bits, and I swear I've probably seen this before. The a's, b's, d's, g's, p's and q's, the bowls they're flat on the side and sort of, axehead out, if that makes sense. Like, the p looks like a tomahawk but rounded on the ends. Doing my typography project on this subject, the typography of the MCU, this is the interesting part of it. I have to design-- oh glory!-- a website, not looking forward to it; why can't I just stick to tracking down and solving mysteries like this one?

Possibly Industry; I don't know... It certainly matches what I remember of the legs on the K's...

Heck, as much as I hate my graphic design classes, I love being able to identify stuff like this. Micromanaging ragging is probably fascinating to some people, but...

Locked Ro(o)m Mystery

It feels like a... I don't know, a windowless doorless room. My laptop does. I hardly ever use webcams or anything, but the fact that it had been working, worked on Thursday but then not on Friday, and still isn't working, enhances this feeling of isolation. Especially without USB port access to load any videos onto the laptop, and now without even the webcam as an item of desperation, how am I supposed to make any videos for YouTube? It's been, well the last video was at the beginning of the month and now it's nearing the end, so it's been almost a month since uploading anything. I've been given a lot of opportunities lately to consider why it is that I want to do, anything, making videos especially, and, I guess I conclude it's no great loss. (maybe if I actually had any subscribers...)

Meanwhile even if I wanted to play League or Overwatch or anything lately, even if I had them downloaded (the crash wiping out all my apps though keeping my files,) all I've got is the track pad to use as a mouse. And that's just no good for gaming. Anything I plug in, the ones which light up when you plug them in, light up when I plug them in, but there's no recognition on the interior side of the computer that there's anything external attached. The USB driver says it's working just fine...

There was an option, seeing how low on storage I was, to upgrade my hard drive to a whopping 2 TB internal hard drive, but it was more than twice what I could afford, barely affording to pay for the repair as it was. With all these issues my computer continues to have (hasn't crashed on me once since then though!) I guess I'm glad I didn't opt for that. They still made one though, just in case (duplicating all my files to that 2 TB as well,) and can upgrade me at any time. It would still cost the same. But, add on top of that a whole new the-other-stuff, aside from the hard drive, because, that's what I'd do, just get a whole new one? I don't know. Wonder if the hard drive's Mac compatible... 

oh Hey look

hey look im on the laptop! the ports don't work so I can't plug in any memory sticks??? or peripheries, like mices or touchpads. Which I knew but still can't work out.

And now the webcam won't worK???

Maybe i'll have agood post for youe tomorrow, but today ther'es tyust this creap.

Kiteflying

Well I don't know. (Got my computer back from the shop; the files were all there still but the crash killed the applications, and it won't be till tomorrow that things will be back up and running.) After blogging about Bro and Sis Geddes's France mission, I've had a suspiciously steady stream of hits from that country. But I guess they're back now, and the hits keep on coming...

Meanwhile... there is no meanwhile, really. The computer problems have everything else more-or-less embroiled in them, mostly revolving around the fact that it cost money to get the repair done. I've got, maybe $10 for groceries tomorrow. After that I should be, well, running into the wind, like flying a kite behind me. Just like flying a kite...

Mystery mastery

Did it-- did it just seriously erase all my progress on my post so far...??

Sigh.

As I was saying anyway, it's exciting.

Tues 2:00s

Time constraints prevented me from talking about this in last night's post, but that's a good thing because today didn't go all like how I'd thought it would. See, computer repair costs money-- I've got $50ish, and diagnostics alone'll run me $30 (with that fee waived and absorbed into repair fees if I then decide to sorting for a repair.) I'd been going to, finally, go into the plasma center today, but Tuesdays are apparently very busy-- with my homework due at 4:00, and class starting then, only getting out after the biomat's closed down, I had one shot for the day: 2:00, when the library (doing my homework in the McKay's Mac Lab, being computerless myself) shuts down for an hour and a half so that people can attend devotional (which I seldom do, because it's always basically the same thing each time.) Only, Tuesdays bring busy, 2:00 was not available. Any time before that would mean cutting into my homework time, so. I took a nap instead. And am finally, FINALLY, going in the morning.

Pewter trubble

Checked the computer back into the shop today. Made some homework headway on a school computer instead.

So like funny thing, going to demonstrate the problem to the shop people, it was an even bigger problem, powering on straight to the bios screen.

Aaaand Back on My Kindle to Post

My computer won't even log into my account, the only account, on it. To the shop it is. It's fine; got $50 and it shouldn't take, um, that much. I don't think? I'm not going to use it tomorrow for homework anyway; the InDesign program always crashes before it even opens for some reason.

The real question is, when am I good to go for plasma again? Should I try tomorrow? Maybe I should try tomorrow.

Spiritual Dynamite

So this is real good.



https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/mormon-messages-2018?cid=HP_FR-16-3-2018_dPFD_fMLIB_xLIDyL1-C_

I May Have Done a Little Hacking

Have I ever told you how awesome the movie TRON is? Greatest film-- well, not the greatest film, but it's better than-- well, it's not better than Star Wars, but it... dang it, I thought I had a topic that I could blog about quickly, seeing how late it is; turns out not to be the case. 

Got a lot of thoughts and stuff, and I'm justting out of time and space on all fronts.

At least my toothache's gone down. Told you about the toothache, right? No? Huh. Meanwhile I'm just hacking and wheezing here...

Blogging from 2.0 Again

This is the first time blogging from my laptop in over a week. Before during and after the Santa Fe trip I used my Kindle... which coincidentally I can't seem to find right now; I think it's in my bedroom though, hold on....

This computer well it still crashes frequently. And I haven't been able to successfully open up InDesign on it (very important for the current project in class) for, like, a month... I guess I'll use a computer at school to throw something together.

I made it to class today; unprepared, but I made it. We were supposed to have a printout of, the final rough draft of an 8-page thing; just the PDF is due as a final on Tuesday.

I've still got a few leaks, pains and aches, but right now the strongest of these seems to be from my jaw. I don't think it's illness-related; it could just be from irregular flossing. But it hurts something. All the way up to my still-pink eye...

Questions w/ ??? Answers

Am I Better? I don't know possibly. Am I Better Enough to go to class tomorrow?

???

I am on medications now. So that is good.

Muh Boddie

It doesn't hurt to swallow now, and my earholes oop nvm there they go, guess they do hurt still. But I can open my eyes now, so that's good.

So I was in the bathroom and looking at myself, naaaked, and I am one smoking hot specimen of human being, and I'm all, even if I could, I wouldn't change anything about this body. (Sometimes I think I'm a but pudgy but I really pull that pudge off if there's not any clothes over it.) And then I'm all, if I could. Then I'm all, well maybe I'd get a haircut, but then I'm all, wait haha that's, something I can do. 

But if there were anything in my life I could change, would I?

And then I'm all, yeah I'd have more money.

It's just, every time I see someone less fortunate than I, I can't just, not support them. And that's everyone (see the, how hot I am, thing above, etc.) And so I never have money, like, there's this kickstarter, which unfortunately went through. How am I eat, kind of thing.

Several mental hurdles later, though, maybe I can make MONEY, by ALSO blessing people, not with money but with my gifts??? It IS obvious, and it IS something I already knew, but it's one of those things you have to figure out for yourself.

Hellth

So my physical health is... getting better. I must have run into a cat or dog or just like a something somehow, because my eyes are just all, doing the allergy thing. Still don't hurt as much as my throat when I swallow, though that's gone down a lot. I've got this cough as well. And mucus. And still might be running a slight temperature. Whatever it was that I must have caught down in New Mexico, and oh yeah my ears deep down in 'em hurt a bit too, especially when I yawn, which I'm doing right now because it's, it'd be almost 2:00 if it weren't daylight savings, or, no, wait... I have become sitcom levels of stupid in terms of math ever since not needing such classes anymore, but spring forward should mean it would be, still last night, alright... whatever bug anyway, I think I may be able to not need a sick day from class tomorrow. Today. I still might want one though.

Mental health mostly. I spent the longest time today overcoming my anxiety by completely ignoring my homework/responsibilities, and hey what do you mean that doesn't actually overcome my anxiety, it just makes it worse? Haha, ha, yes. Yes.

Urgh, I am coughing my lungs out here. Maybe I WILL need a, physical health, day off tomorrow...

What Time is It I Don't Even

As long as I'm writing this down anyway WILLIAM RANDOLPH HEARST I might as well record that I should get one of those, a recorder, not a publishing/ hippopotamus magnate, I mean; by which recorder I mean a voice recorder (preferably with, like, ALL the storage space,) I can ramble all the good ideas I come up with. Does this typeface have serifed 
I's? It does, where have I seen that recently...

'Cos like my ideas are jerks, only comin' at me as I try an' sleep. Sometimes I get up to write them down (and thus paradoxically free them??) but gurgle Hitler Hitler... (the autocrat-type function sufficiently amuses me some times, such as with the word "autocrat" itself (anarchist, that time.))

Hurgle gurgle gurgle, I just want to sleep.

Is there a way to swap go-to-bed feels with wake-up-now feels? I should still get a recorder.

Also I seems to have losted my camera's mike's windguard fuzzy on the trip somewhere... You know what else is a good idea JEFF GOLDBLUM, if I'd have stickered my name on it somehow.

Dard-E Fewer Things

I didn't fall asleep last night so much as, went unconscious four or five times, for a few minutes at a time. Hopefully tonight the rest will be better. (Well, that means any rest at all, but you know what I mean.) It still hurts to swallow, and my head still feels like spaghetti squash trying to force its way through a sieve, and my ears hurt from the shifts in altitude from traveling around all day, but other than that I'm not in too much agony. And I should be getting plenty of rest tonigh.....

Daaayligghht saaavvinngs!!

My Everything Hurts... And I Mean ALL of It

I'm even more sore and tired now than I was last night, possibly. But I'm remembering to blog today. Remembered last night too, but napped woke up at 2:05, five minutes too late to get it in last night in the time zone... or, an hour five minutes?? Too tired right now to really consider which is right. Ugh. And we're waking up tomorrow morning way earlier than we did today...

A Tale of Two Cities in Car Trip Form

The trip up (down!) was long and well it actually didn't feel that long with all my leg room, but it was even though it was filled with naps it was still tiring. All in all a quite contradictory day.

And, As Graduation Approaches, Further Angst Develops

UVWXYZ. Six more classes and if I pass I'm done. We drew S today (still the best part of class,) and T is on Thursday which I'm missing. I do not enjoy graphic design classes very much. Especially not at this stage, advanced class... why is that? Am I uncool with being outside of my comfort zone? Don't think that's it; the whole flibby flobbing world is outside of my comfort zone, so I'm, well not that distinctly UNcomfortable there, and it's all whatevs. Is it being bad at graphic design, highlighted further by this Senior-level class where everyone else is practically professional level and I'm, it'd be middling if I were a freshman? I think it's, everyone else isn't practically professional level, they are all (or most, or lots) professionals. The fact that I'm about to possibly graduate, and the trip tomorrow (which is indeed going to give me 14 more hours to think about things) is just a step closer to that, and I don't even have any, anything, while everyone else totally has that, doesn't help.

My mission president compared me to himself, in our exit interview. I'm a late bloomer (the word he used was "developer,") slow developer but good developer. It's like my meticulous worldbuilding, slow plot outlining, on my stories; it'd be nice to develop fast sometimes.

Maybe late bloomer isn't the word for it. If I'm such a late bloomer, how was I top of my class in GATE? Am I some kind of failed child prodigy? Failing even, wry chuckle, at being a prodigy at anything.

Man, sometimes I want to go on a rad Calvin-style adventure across Lake Whatever and find John Green and get him to write me a happy ending.

I ate a burrito and got $30, though, so that's good.

I May Feel Old and Useless Compared with All These Youngsters Doing Amazing Things, But Soon I'll Have Done, Just, Anything

Should be going to sleep, but man I've been just attacked by the muse today; I'm making these huge chunks of progress in a story I'm writing. A script really-- I've been working on this trilogy since, gosh, well it was after graduating high school for sure, so maybe, 2011ish, 2012ish? This script is the only original work of the trilogy, sort of canon-welding a short story of mine with a short story of a friend's (from before graduating high school) and, gosh this must sound terribly boring, since I have to keep a lot of the details under wraps... but this is the first time I think I've ever mentioned this project to you, actually, though it does take place in the same continuity as a different project I have mentioned.

The only thing that could be boring about this really, from personal experience reacting to other people making such announcements, is if it seems like nothing's going to come of any of this. Knowing my history of project completions, it does seem that way; my creative process tends to involve massive massive amounts of stewing.

But like I said, the creativity bug has bitten. Pieces are beginning to fall into place in a big way. It's happened before, and nothing's really completed over it, but... this is a major step toward that, right now.

As Opposed to Pretzel Beast

Rush, on his Facebook page (he's the producer on Tony Boi not sure if I've mentioned him ever) talking about the success of the film's premiere and showcasing a bunch of photos, all of which were taken by me. He credited me and everything, but the kicker/killer is... well, the file I sent was a link to a .zip saved to my twisted.in.pretzels account's Google Drive, and so he subtitled me (put parenthetically after my name, I mean,) "Pretzel Man."

Alright then.

We HAD been texting earlier, and I'd told him he could credit me, just, however...

There was an injoke on set of the film, which made it into the final thing somehow, that I was on deviantArt and my handle was, darkanimelover123, something like that.

We Are Wakanda

Not the perfect YouTube content, but it's the closest I've ever come to. I'm getting there; I am so close. Defining perfection as, some content uniquely me, coming into my own style, doing something nobody else can do, as laid down in the first PPR episode.







It's interesting how much that means exposing vulnerabilities, but I guess that makes perfect sense. I wouldn't call this content vibranium-level, but it's something near to it.

March 2nd Stuff: Tony Boi Premiere, etc

And the video I tried to take today was in the dark, so you can't see anything. Sigh. Actually though I got really got footage and photographs of the premiere itself, just not any of my blogging about it.

So there was a meeting this morning about the travel study trip... I really don't want to talk about it, not that anything bad or embarrassing happened, but that I already did talk about it, attempting to vlog. So I'll tell you about eating fish and chips, and walking home half dead.

Lunch time. Saving my money up for the trip (if all goes well plasma-wise I should have something like $62 for souvenirs) I don't want to spend money on food-- but I still need to eat. I still have had that gift card for Frontier Pies, which I may or may not have told you about. I'd thought I'd had $15 in it, was hoping for $25, but in reality it was $10. A $7.99 special, plus tax and with 18% tip, comes out to $9.99 exactly. Only, tip from gift card, kind of a funny situation since the money isn't real... so what I could do, is just give them the gift card entirely, take a penny from the take-a-penny. And my waitress would own my gift card.

And more happened today but I'm done talking about it.

March 1st Stuff: Porter's Sale Day 1, etc

So I thought maybe (so much going on this month, and also it being one year this month, on the 30th, since I uploaded my first YouTube video) I'd have some kind of daily vlog going on this month... The content for today turned out either inane or out-of-focus, so, meh.

The Paypal did go through this morning, and then the school fee later. Everything the way it was ideal to. Still have all my tithing money plus some in my i-card balance (I used it to pay for prints today-- color prints!!) and my plasma debit card is woefully low- all I spent it on at Porter's the sale this morning was a Webkinz skunk plushie.

But oh yes I will be back...