Small Yellow Flower-Pocalypse Part III: Survival

   This is the zombie threat list, which I hope I'm the first one to come up with. I probably am, because it lists zombies at the bottom of the threat list.

1. If the zombie apocalypse came upon us, remember that the greatest threat to your survival is not the undead, but your fellow survivors. 
2. The next greatest threat is the environment.
3. Then yourself.
4. Then zombies.

   Most people only think of combat, but survival is a lot more than that. This lack of planning is exactly why, as far-fetched as it may seem, mindless slow-moving creatures will be able to take over most of the planet. It is thus always a good idea to be prepared: stock up on the essentials before the apocalypse. Don't just start when the warning signs become apparent, as the price to everything will have risen dramatically by then, and you don't know when the riots and looting will start (the riots and looting will be the second reason that decomposing ramblers will be able to take over the planet (see point 1.)) Start stocking up now. Like, right now. Or the past, although I suppose if you do that you don't need to survive the apocalypse. Increase the size of your food pantry. I mean it; this is not hypothetical.

   Aside from these essentials of food and water and toilet paper, you're going to need nonessential, comfort items. Not for yourself, you understand. After the apocalypse, these will be in such high demand it won't be funny. We're talking cigarettes, candy, coffee, drugs, pornography. Anything addictive or routine, that people can't live without. And weapons. These things generally come in very high demand in prison, they'll come in high demand here. Such a flow of goods will make you non-disposable to your team, increasing your likelihood of survival considerably. Meanwhile, though, I suggest cutting your own dependence on these things. Except weapons. And maybe toilet paper. Having nothing you need could only make you a shrewder bargainer.

   But, yeah, this is supposed to be fun, not an economics lesson. It's about how you'd fight the zombies. My own strategy? It's like yours, but also I'd totally wire a grenade to my heart so that I blow up as many of them as I can when my heart stops beating.