Correspondence 6/28/09 20:23 - 20:58

   It's tough to pin a name down on the Mad General, yet we continue to try anyway. No fear, true believers, we do eventually come up with it, and we're on the right track here.

Re: Suggestions
From POMegranate to Persomem   Jun 28, 2009 8:23 pm
Well, the Arthos Nycaster quote is a good start, but yeah, the train.
(Speaking of Nycaster, isn't "Ny" like a Persistence version of "Mc"? So should he General be named, Like, Caster Nyflannigan or sommink?)

Re: Suggestions
From Persomem to POMegranate   Jun 28, 2009 8:26 pm
Alright, quote first, then train. Also, what are we trying to make people feel for Nephyrem in the beginning? Empathy in regard to his missing "sister"? Knowing would help.
(Yes, we kind of have set that up, huh? Um... Nylynn? Nygrin? Nydus?

Re: Suggestions
From POMegranate to Persomem   Jun 28, 2009 8:30 pm
Well, he is the main character, and he's written that letter between the quote and the story, about how he failed Kite and is becoming more like his father, so...
(And no, none of those, because Nygrin is already more or less a real name, and Nydus is too much like elder Vidus.

Re: Suggestions
From Persomem to POMegranate   Jun 28, 2009 8:33 pm
Well, how about I start with him writing the letter, and show, quoted, what he put in the letter?
(Well then, how about...Nyrand, Nysolen, I don't know, this is hard.)

Re: Suggestions
From POMegranate to Persomem   Jun 28, 2009 8:35 pm
Maybe at the start of the chapter, as if we're going to have notes at the beginning of every chapter kind of thing, but we don't.
(But at least we're finally on the right track. I kind of like Nysolen.)

Re: Suggestions
From Persomem to POMegranate   Jun 28, 2009 8:36 pm
Alright, that can be done, I'm going to try to make it so it's not just: Arthos note, 30 seconds of narrative, bam! Another note.
(Yes, true.)

Re: Suggestions
From POMegranate to Persomem   Jun 28, 2009 8:38 pm
Great. But it's not like the Arthos thing is just a "note." It's more like an intro, Foreword, Prologue kind of thing.

Re: Suggestions
From Persomem to POMegranate   Jun 28, 2009 8:40 pm
Yes, it really sets us all up.

Original Chapter one trial
From Persomem to POMegranate   Jun 28, 2009 8:54 pm
Could you send that over? I can't find any copies of it on my computer, and I figure there are some things from it to salvage.

Re: Suggestions
From POMegranate to Persomem   Jun 28, 2009 8:55 pm
Wait, do you need the letter? Because I've called it up right here if you need it.

Re: Suggestions
From Persomem to POMegranate   Jun 28, 2009 8:55 pm
That would be nice.

Re: Original Chapter one trial
From POMegranate to Persomem   Jun 28, 2009 8:56 pm
Wait, the whole thing? Okay, here goes: