Foolishness?

   Not that I wasn't capable of greatness or anything. Obviously there's some fairly clever stuff from that period. I still view myself as a fool, and I was a pretentious little punk in the tenth and eleventh grades, but at least I got over my pretentious period so early. Does such an admission, that I don't think I'll be as pretentious again, change the course from then to now to then? I guess presast only makes perfect as long as it's set on the course, and you don't decide to change it and continue on in whatever behavior or style or flavor. Not exactly learning from your mistakes, although that can be it, but catching and recognizing your own method of doing things.

   Another thing about how I'll be evolved: my own style. Do I, right now, consider myself to be very good? Worth sharing, obviously. We all need to say, Ten Thirteen-like, "I made this." But how much pride are you allowed? If we were alone, or all the same person, if there were only one existent entity, would it need pride? Would it accomplish something and say, "I am proud?" Philosophically useless argument, I know (well, not useless...) I think we need the affirmation of other entities to be proud. In all senses of the word.

   Yeah, it's kind of late at night as I write this and I didn't get much sleep last night so man am I loopy. I'm practically kind of stoned right now, so, forgive me. Don't do drugs, kids. They'll make you use sentences like "we need affirmation from other entities to be proud."

   Which is why I let myself be judged by others. "Can't even see myself straight on. Only reflections. Only ever reflections." Yeah, yeah. It's all right here. All the way back in my fifteenth ever post. Foolishness of our past selves? No, no, I had foresight enough for that.