George Clooney. Awesome, right? Handsome, charming, good actor. Except... Except his name is George Clooney. Think about that for a second. It just occurred to me. First of all, his name is George. George. We tend to overlook a celebrity's name, as some celebrities fit their names perfectly (there ain't nobody Meryl Streep-ier than Meryl Streep) but we've just sort of lived with George Clooney long enough to think that his name fits him, when really it doesn't. We're accustomed to associate a celebrity's name with that celebrity. Bill Murray. Clooney! That's not a name! Cloooooney. But, when combined with George, there's some magic there that makes him this sexy white tiger.
Brad Pitt! There's a sexy exiting name for a sexy exiting celebrity. Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise. Yes. Matt Damon, okay. Matt, definitely, Damon, sure.You know who doesn't fit this? Hugh Grant. I guess I just sort of see him as being this Cary Grant sort of figure, but then I actually see him on screen and I think oh. He's so young. Shouldn't he be in his 80s or something? Hugh Grant is a terrible name for a celebrity. Hyoo. Grrrant.
Does this only work with males? I couldn't tell you the difference between Penelope Cruz and Penelope Lopez (there is a Penelope Lopez, correctly? Yes? Alright.) Well, there's the aforementioned Ms. Streep, as well as the whole "complete the sentence" thing with Megan Fox. (Complete the sentence: Megan...)
(See, you said "is a fox," didn't you?) So there's that. And men get to star in thrillers while females are stuck with interchangeable romcoms. But for females, for the most part their names aren't part of their identity. More of a handy label more than anything, that allows us to know which one we're talking about. "Oh! She was in that one with Johnny Depp that no one went to go see, and she was Fox in Wanted, and she was married to that d-bag a few years back. Yeah. Major hottie." See? The only reason I knew of the existence of Penelope Cruz is because she's somehow not related to Tom Cruise and they were in a relationship previously.
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