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Oh, man. This all seemed true when I wrote it, four years ago.
TRANSCRIPT:
Collin: 3D movies!
Bambi: Wooo!
Collin: 3D films! Films
filmed in the third dimension! They're awesome, and with new light
polarization technology, they're here to stay this time, folks!
Marvin: Myself, I find
them tiresome and gimmicky.
Collin: That's just the
tiresome and gimmicky ones; the ones that use the third dimension as
a feature rather than a filmmaker's tool. “Tiresome and gimmicky”
could literally apply to any filmmaker’s tool in the hands of an
inept director. A good filmmaker, on the other hand, can use the
third dimension to imply depth, size, surface translucency, texture!
A filmmaker can play silly monkeys with the audience with the effect,
creating a feeling of unease, as in the tunnel sequence and Other
Mother's world in Henry Selick's Coraline.
Marvin: Filmmaker's
tool!? Style and substance aren’t mutually exclusive. You can't
misuse the tools of how we view everyday life. When they came out
with color and sound, they knew how to use those effects. Sound was
no gimmick; it opened up new ways of storytelling, like how whistling
is used as a plot device in Fritz Lang's M. We don’t
conceive our vision of the world in 3D; we conceive it as being flat,
so ultimately 3D can be nothing but a gimmick.
Collin: Well, people
dreamt in color up until the invention of the television, when people
began dreaming in black and white. It wasn’t until they came out
with color TVs that people began dreaming in color again! Even then,
an entire generation was left dreaming in black and white for the
rest of their lives. With new practical 3D technology, people can
begin to conceive the world in 3D again.
Marvin: Just because you
can do something, doesn’t mean you should. Just because it’s a
visual medium doesn’t mean it also needs sound; it doesn’t even
mean it needs color! Just look at comics!
Marvin: What were we arguing about again?
Collin: Whoa, trippy.
Marvin: uh...
...
...
...
I don't know, man. Let's get out of here.
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