Saturday, September 15, 2018

Executive Dysfunction

Somebody force me to do something. Please. I don't understand "self-motivated" people at all. Is self motivation an affect of executive function? 

I'm still capable of, y'know, doing stuff. Like just now I went and researched executive functioning skillsets. Didn't, plan on it beforehand or anything. It was spontaneous. Obviously.

This McDougall guy who wrote a book (and like a legit one too not like one of those people who write natural herbal remedy books or whatever) divides executive function into two broad domains (his book focuses on executive function in the classroom but that's only inappropriate in the context of the specific illustrations he gives to demonstrate his categories, and not in the constructs making up executive function itself, dawg): self-regulatory skills and goal-oriented skills. Each of those is broken down into sub-categories:

Self-Regulatory

  • perception
  • modulation
  • sustained attention
  • flexibility
  • working memory
  • response inhibition
  • emotional regulation

Goal-Oriented

  • planning
  • organization
  • time management
  • self-monitoring

Wikipedia is telling me that individuals with autism "commonly show impairment in three main areas of executive functioning," and lists those as flexibility, planning, and, fluency which-isn't-one-McDougall-has-but-that's-fine-because-my-fluency-is-great,-thank-you-very-much. (Best fluency I know! Many doctors agree.) My flexibility is also, like, the bomb, but we hit a wall when we come to planning. And, yeah, the entirety of the goal-oriented skillset. 

It's not only the goal-oriented ones, but it is mostly those ones. Out of the self-regulatory Pokémon, the two I want catching are, 1) depending on the task, sustained attention (probably any flagging focus would be due to, goal oriented stuff, like shifting from one mini-task to another and being unsure of the demands and thus fatiguing,) and 2) modulation. GOOD GLORY do I lack modulation. That's the, awareness of effort required to complete a task. Guess it's just a perfectionist streak or, well I actually talked about this just a few cycles ago. Something about taking up as much time as possible, polishing and polishing until the very very end? Though most of that polishing, based on my record of class assignments' work schedules, actually being fundamental like construction and not spitshine at all.

Which would have to do with, time management and stuff, solidly a goal-oriented skill. Don't think I have poor judgement in effort required to complete a task, actually, so much as, the amount of time required to complete it. So, yeah, I guess 100% of my executive function problems do stem from, the goal-oriented skills side of it; nice to know.

It's weird thinking that there are people out there who can just... manage their time. Just like, as a skill they've got, whether it's one that comes naturally to them or not. People out there who can plan. Or organize. Or self-monitor (actually that one I don't have that much of a problem with.) Feels like a prison, without it.

But, you know. Spontaneity can be a lifeskill too. 

HECKING LAV MIC

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