You know Leonard Shelby, Guy Pearce's character in Christopher Nolan's Memento? I think that, it must be that, I've got what he's got-- not with, actual physical memories, but with emotions. Emotional memories. Which is kind of great walking down the street, and suddenly realizing, hey! I'm walking down the street, where am I, how did these buildings get here, golly what an interesting place. It makes it tough to get bored. Is a positive. I guess.
Anterograde, amnesia, that's the term. I was thinking, anteretrograde amnesia, which, in case you didn't notice, makes absolutely no sense. Anterograde. Loss of memory from after a specific trauma or event... so, no, it's not that, just the idea of, being caught up in a foot chase and realizing, oh, hey, I'm in a foot chase! I must chasing this guy... no, wait, he's chasing me... How, even though I'd be able to remember the start of the chase and the context that surrounds it, that's still totally something that I would do.
Looking into amnesia now, maaaan even if this emotional whatever were a thing, there'd be no way of proving it. I'm not even sure what effect a diagnosis would have... it's not like it's a, disfunction or anything... It's about the romantic notion of the thing, more than any specific science. The pop culture, of the thing. The foot chase, how it could happen to me.
So even now, when I look at, Zootopia, I go through this sort of miniature process, Zootopia what's one of those, oh that, yeah that's coming out, no wait it's already out, no wait it's already out and I've seen it. The first steps of realization all within maybe .5 seconds, with a good one or two seconds for that last one to sink in. Sink in, but never, feel, real.
Occasionally there's a, wait a minute, Zootopia, something's funny about that, oh I know what it must be, didn't you mean Zootropolis?
Yep. Looking at that word, right now, "zootopia," it just feels kind of foreign. Like some, alien, thing, which I've got no idea what it is. But, turns out it's this thing Disney's doing, about this fox con artist and this bunny rookie cop, and they're all like, "hey there's this mystery we've got to team up to solve," and, then, and then, well now, wait a minute, animals can't talk! What the &#@!, Disney!? You trying to pull a fast one on m--... oh. Never mind. Proceed.
I, guess it's better than my heart giving out from the sheer excitement that, this is a thing that I'm not making up at all. I am very excited for it, and I sincerely look forward to seeing-- no, wait... I already have... isn't that interesting...
Yes. Whatever it is that I've got, I've definitely got it.
Also, while we're on the topic I seriously think that I have bouts of selective mutism. And random mild anxiety attacks. But the attacks are, whatevs, and, even with something more crippling like the mutism, I really question what a formal diagnosis is going to be able to do...
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