Post THE NINETY-SIXTH, In Which Sheer Paranoia Coerces Me to Make an Announcement

   I am honestly afraid that I am turning into a squirrel. Rationally, I know that this might be ridiculous. In fact, it probably is ridiculous. Yes, yes it's definitely ridiculous. But yesterday I looked in the mirror and I noticed that I looked particularly squirrelly. More squirrelly than I've ever looked in my life. It might be because I got a new haircut, but that doesn't explain the rest of my face. Like my nose. My nose was very squirrelly.

   While transforming into a squirrel may seem ridiculous to you, as it indeed seems to me, remember that it only takes one paradigm shift to turn the bizarre into the commonplace. I think there's a chance that I might remain human, but I'm not ruling the alternative out.

   I just had to go back into that last sentence to turn all of the lowercase "I"s capital. Originally, I had it written: i think there's a chance that i might remain human, but i'm not ruling the alternative out. Maybe I'm just typing on the "shift" key weakly, or maybe I'm forgetting to use it at all. I think the squirrellification is becoming stronger, to forget a thing like that. I caught each of them in turn right after I had written it, so there's no point when the sentence actually looked like that, but I just tried using the shift key in this sentence because I remembered to capitalize my "I," but it failed. So, at least that time, I just didn't press down on the shift key strong enough. So, it's not my mind, it's my fingers. I can feel my fingers becoming more and more squirrelly.

   So, I'll tell you what: in case I really am turning into a squirrel, I'll just schedule a bunch of future posts right now in case my fingers or even my mind becomes even more lost. Squirrels don't blog, so that makes sense. I'll blog a bunch while I'm human and schedule the posts for the future, so I won't miss a day if I forget to blog as a squirrel. I'm not sure whether being a squirrel will be temporary or permanent, so I'm not sure how deep into the future I should schedule my posts. Let's say, for now, a week, and if my symptoms alleviate I'll join you again, and if they worsen I'll schedule even more posts.

   So, to recap, you'll see me every day here, but I won't see you, because it'll be past me making those posts from the past. Till then, I guess.