Conspiracies, Part III

   I've been missing out on a key demographic in my conspiracy reporting. Turns out the gays also have a conspiracy to molest our children. On the one hand: as much as like like dudes, I don't think it's quite that much. On the other hand: seeing as how thinking about religion automatically makes me a member of the clergy, even liking dudes slightly makes me homosexual. I'm not going to say "on the gripping hand" because

1. There is not gripping hand,
2. saying "on the gripping hand" in the context of homosexuality is kind of a poor joke and we're not going there, and
3. Larry Niven something something something science fiction something something L. Ron Hubbard something something Illuminati conspiracy. LOGIC.

   ...For some reason, I think that this logic (or parody thereof) is pretty self explanatory, if you know... that kind of stuff? BONUS. If you couldn't follow that logic, then that's alright. If you could follow that logic then

1. You know way too much about the political views of science fiction authors, and either
2. You've got a pretty firm grip on good understanding of this kind of thought process, or
3. You yourself follow this kind of thought process and thus need mental help.

   So, uh, yeah, I think the other hand takes this round, which means I guess I'm in on that, too. That's three conspiracies to do horrible things to children that I'm in on. Woo. There's probably a pedobear "x all the y" meme out there, but I really don't care to check right now.