It would be the perfect time to bring this up, then, that it would kind of be helpful to break down what a mission represents. Breaking that down, plus how much of that affects this blog directly (which is just gravy.) Two years away from home, serving the Lord, putting aside all other personal affairs. Yes. I suppose I could talk about that.And then I didn't actually talk about it. So.
It's kind of awkward to speak of the mission in totally "holistic" terms- I tend to skirt around issues when I'm asked about it, irrationally fearing, but- "two years," I mention. Yes. The mission was for two years. And the housing- it's all, in apartments, and everything, not from home, so...
When people think about the Church, it's near ubiquitous that people think about the face of it- they think about missionaries and missions. And that's not an unfair stereotype- it is, it really is, it's usually the "dum dah-duh dah, dum, DUM, I hoope, they call me on a misiooon, when Iiii have groown a foot or twooo" go out and "I'm gonna send you two-by-two" and ride your bikes around, knockin' on doors and spreadin' the Good Word, getting chased by dogs and getting doors slammed in your face and all that... It's not a stereotype so much as an icon.
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| Basically like this, yes. |
The Family and Church History Headquarters Mission, the 80-or-90-odd young elders there at any given time do count toward the 88,000 full-time missionaries that are out there. But you can't find any news about it in the usual places. The YM (Young Missionary) program isn't even mentioned on the official lds.org site for the mission (though Data Quality is; holla! That photo's not of the Givenses, by the way; it's just, there.) The FCHH Mission is mentioned nowhere on the big board of the mission presidencies of all the different missions that's there if you go up to the 14th floor of the Church Office Building like I've done. There's an entire photoessay on the mission, beginning on page 24, in the Church's April 2006 Ensign (link will open a PDF of the issue to download) but this is back when it was still just the "Family and Church History Mission," no "headquarters" about it yet. There are one or two young missionaries, but all are Church Service. And so here's where the other shoe drops.
Aside from the 88,000-plus-strong workforce of full-time missionaries, there are over 15,000 Church Service Missionaries who are putting in all their "heart, might, mind and strength" (Doctrine and Covenants 4:2.)
That video is unlisted on YouTube. Which means, only those with the direct link have access to it. I managed to track it down, and have it here for you, so I'd like to ask some basic courtesy and consideration: no one mock this. Seriously.
The Church Service Missionary program was put in place to give opportunity to those physically, emotionally, or mentally incapable of putting in the strenuous effort of two years off serving the Lord- but who still had "desires to serve God" and were thus "called to the work." (D&C 4:3-- the entirety of Doctrine and Covenants 4 is more or less a missionary classic, and is often recited at any conceivable opportunity.) It represents a powerful force for good, not just in the lives of the missionaries who are part of the program, but in the Church and in a broader context the whole world.
And, like I said, this mission's not a part of that.
FCHH Mission is full time. FCHH Mission you live in apartments instead of at home. Church Service Missions you don't need that- you can work from home, putting in however much work you are capable of and no more. You don't need to do it all day every day for two years for the Lord to be pleased with your offering.
And so, then, clearly, the Family and Church History Headquarters mission is not a Church Service Mission. Not that it doesn't have CSMs; it's just that those are all senior missionaries, who come in at odd days and work odd hours, only coming in on set days of the week. The young missionary program is full time. And yet...
And yet we don't proselyte. Oh, sure, there's all the pixie sprinkles about proselyting for the other side of the veil. That we do do work for the other side of the veil, is true (picture the weird doorframe thing from Harry Potter 5) but it doesn't match really any traditional definition of proselyting as far as I've heard. It's just... work.
The doorframe image is good, let me stick with it for a moment if you'll permit me. The term "liminal" comes from the Latin, and it means relating to thresholds or entrances. Liminality thus refers to ambiguity that takes place between the threshold-- a state of existence between two worlds. And it fits the mission to a t.
And so, we have a really interesting relationship with everybody. Prost Elders, Prost Sisters, CSMs. The Temple Square Mission is separate and entirely distinct from ours; it's the one with all the Temple Square Sisters. I've read blog articles about that mission- about how liminal they feel, like they're not real full time 18-month missionaries (full-time Sister missionaries serve for 18 months; full-time Elders for 24.) I'm not about to say anything like, "they have no idea," but the opportunity does present itself...
Psychologically, bronze medalists are happier than silver medalists- it seems like it should be the other way around, doesn't it? But subconsciously, someone who runs a race and finishes silver is more likely to focus on the fact that they could have placed gold if they'd performed just a little bit better... while of course the winner of the bronze medal is subconsciously focused on the fact that if they'd not done as well they wouldn't be placing at all.
I never felt that way about it, but it was clear sometimes, when the dark underbelly revealed itself, that a lot of the young elders did.
I have Asperger's syndrome. There's no way around that. It's been formally diagnosed and everything; I'm not just some snot-nosed teenager on the internet. Incredibly high-functioning, so there's a lot more blessing there than curse, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist (one of the elders on my mission laughed when I told him what was "wrong" with me enough to earn a spot on the mission; he said that whoever diagnosed me must have been high or something when he did so, and didn't believe my diagnosis at all.) It's not just any willing and able Mormon kid off the street who gets called to the Family and Church History Headquarters Mission.
Before we'd heard of the mission, we were looking at maybe working at a canning plant for me, as a CSM. Living at my aunt and uncle's house in Farmington. I would've been thrilled to do that; probably just blogging every day because my computer access wouldn't be restricted as with a full time mission... They've got the cutest porcelain raccoon there... But, no.
It's a blessing, though. It always is. Whatever it is.
Liminality? Forget about not finishing "gold," whatever that means- I was always too caught up in how very weird the mission is. Monthly move sheets, preparation day driving sheets, van groups, transfers every month. In proselyting missions the mission organization and the work organization are one and the same- at the FCHH Mission, for the young elders, we had all kinds of different sheets that came out every month, explaining zone and district assignments, and work zone assignments separate from that- day zone, evening zone. Clerical work, of the other definition. Or both, actually... Strangeness.
Liminality, though? Oh, sure, go ahead and bemoan the fact that you're not out there proselyting right now. Just don't dare insinuate that the CSMs so much less well-off than you are are doing anything less than the very greatest good that it's in them to do.
No wonder why we're mentioned nowhere.
Well, nowhere official, at least. I linked yesterday to posts about the mission and the YM program in it on my mom's blog. There are a handful of blogs out there from senior missionaries, but the FCHH Mission doesn't really represent much more special than any other mission that they could get called to. Sites with a YM focus are harder to come by. I realize that I've told you about my mission, and what it's like to be on it, but I haven't really told you about my mission, and what it's like to be on it. These should help with that.
Deep Thoughts from the Family and Church History Headquarters Mission has always been one of the best of the bunch- it's fun; you get to learn all about being on the FCHH Mission, and being around Temple Square, and connections back at home, and life the universe and... Aquabats concerts... Unfortunately, it's no longer updating, since the elder whose adventures it followed left near the end of March of this year. (Updating via, family posting up blog posts of emails sent home, which is how these things work.) Elder Eric (middle name here?) Larson got in January 2013 (the month after I did) and, left early, near the end of March of this year like I said.
He'd still have a few more days left had he stuck around, that incoming group getting out on the 17th this month (mission departure dates are usually the last Wednesday of the month, but they're moved up early around the holidays, being home for Christmas and all that-- which is why my departure date was on the 19th of last month, getting home in time for Thanksgiving.) The final post would've been around this time, barring the possibility of any follow-up "after getting back home" posts.
...It was a sad day when Elder Larson left. I remember it. He was a fun kid... great kid.... liked My Little Pony and the Aquabats... I always thought that it was for medical reasons mostly, but here it looks like it was more of a personal choice. Which doesn't bar out medical issues, of course, and, well, I'm sure it was for the right reasons.
For news of more recent import, collinhenrie.com is apparently a thing that exists- it is a blog maintained by the family of Elder Henrie, who got on the mission July 2013, so if he holds out true and faithful till the end there should be another solid half year coming at us. Elder Henrie is also a really fun kid (Reed- see, I know his middle name.) This blog even has a fairly decent "about" page on the mission (although their source is a tad outdated- the description for Data Quality (which is the zone where I served) still makes mention of new.familysearch! Yeesh! (Also it mentions young elders' bedtime being at 10:30, which got changed to 10:00 six months or so ago.)) But it still has a nice overview of everything, including where the YMs fit in: http://www.collinhenrie.com/about-family-church-history-headquarters-mission/
That's all well and good. Isn't being a missionary the best? Seriously, check that stuff out; there's some great stuff up there.
Liminality, though...
Blogs aren't the only source of online info. This thread on "exmormon.org" forums (or, uh, "phorums") provides a pretty good breakdown of how things stand, no holds barred, no warts unexamined, from the perspective of, well, you know, an "Ex Mormon," who had, defected sounds like a strong/harsh term, but it is the accurate term, defected from the mission. It's a fascinating read inside a lot of the attitude that's implicit there in the "silver medalist" camp -- the idea that it's "an office job pretending to be a mission;" the scare quotes around the idea that we've been "honorably excused" from full-time prost missions. Here she blows: http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1220393.
"Ex Mormon," yes- I'm sure there are sites out there about being an ex-vampire and everything, so there's nothing terribly edgy about this particular subject, but it still sounds like an odd thing to link to, especially considering the context (and it's true, content advisory there- not for any language or violence or sexuality or anything but for sheer emotional intensity and turmoil. The thread was immensely disturbing to read, at least for me as a Mormon with a fairly strong testimony and immense love of the temple.)
The post in question, moving on, is by "Son of a Swede," who it looks like received his endowment about the time I left on my mission (and thus headed out on his mission around the same time as me...) He was greatly disturbed by the new mystery cult facet of the religion he'd thought he'd known, as well as some other stuff (such as, some of the more probing questions on the evaluation forms.) Essentially throughout his entire mission he didn't believe in the church he was serving, which bubbled inside of him until he decided to stand up for his beliefs and cut ties with the mission, near the end March of... this... year...
oh ****.
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